IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some feel that cities shold be designed to be beautiful while others feel their functionality is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#feel #cities #shold #functionality
It is considered by some
people
 that visual attractions in a
city
 are more important, while there are others who believe that it is more desirable to pay attention to its functionality. There are rational arguments on both sides of
this
 contentious topic which will be discussed in detail, followed by my own take on
this
. On the one hand, there are those who are reasoning that the beautifulness of
people
's surroundings has a direct effect on their spirit. To put it another way, individuals spend a huge amount of their time outside their houses; watching an undesirable scenery all the time will have an irrecoverable effect on their spirit and behaviour as well.
In addition
, beautifying a
city
 would inclouds planting flowers and trees which would be beneficial to reducing air and noise pollution. As a direct consequence,
this
 will boost the lifestyle of the neighbourhood in many aspects.
On the other hand
, the opposing view asserts that the improvement of the accessibility of services to all
people
 is way more important as
this
 will affect the everyday life of residents. The most compelling reason for their assertion is that individuals use public services all day round including public transportation, hospitals, and school. Indeed, their satisfaction with their urban life will be influenced by the level of services they receive.
Moreover
, a comprehensive
city
 design considers the safety of
people
 in all aspects all around the place
in addition
 to other functions.
In other words
,
people
 could feel more comfortable about their own safety if they can trust their town's functionality. In conclusion, there are valid arguments on both sides of the controversy; on balance,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it is my firm conviction that attention should be paid to the usefulness of the
city
 design to all residents since it can have a determinant effect on the
people
's lives.
Submitted by f_bakherad on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aesthetic appeal
  • Cultural heritage
  • Infrastructure
  • Urban planning
  • Sustainable development
  • Psychological well-being
  • Economic growth
  • Tourism industry
  • Architectural marvels
  • Public spaces
  • Accessibility
  • Environmental impact
  • Residential areas
  • Commercial hubs
  • Green spaces
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