ountries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, Individuals have the chance to access
products
all over the world and it leads to forming a similar society. This
essay will illustrate why this
is a positive progress.
Due to
developments in technology and transportation systems, most products
and merchandise have been globalized, and people around the world can use them from developed to undeveloped countries. Subsequently
, this
wide access provides circumstances for the majority of communities to keep in touch with the newest and most advanced technological commodities, which can be employed in different industries
and accelerate development trends. For example
, with the emergence of AI, different companies like Apple and Tesla have utilized it to launch better versions of their products
.
Furthermore
, according to
this
homogenization, entrepreneurs and companies focus on the industries
they are talented in, and they don’t need to divide budgets across all industries
while
they can acquire products
from countries that are experts in those specific sectors. Therefore
, this
not only reduces redundancy and parallel efforts but also
accelerates development by enhancing the concentration of each society on its core competencies. For instance
, Toyota can stay focused on introducing more high-quality resistant products
, implementing
AI to increase performance Correct word choice
and implementing
while
simultaneously staying updated with the newest technology.
To sum up
, the generalized accessibility of products
in this
era effectively helps to reduce discrimination in utilizing new technologies across the world and additionally
increases progress in different industries
by employing updated products
. It also
reduces redundant efforts, allowing for more efficient use of resources globally.Submitted by ali.homayoni93 on
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task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the prompt and addresses both aspects of the question: how global access to products creates similar societies and why this can be seen as a positive development. To further enhance your task achievement, consider providing a more balanced discussion by mentioning potential drawbacks and then refuting them with stronger arguments supporting your view.
task achievement
Ensure each idea is fully expanded with sufficient supporting details. While you have mentioned some examples, providing a bit more detail on how these examples directly support your main points will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is quite well-organized with a clear structure. However, there are a couple of areas where the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using more varied transitional phrases will help create a better flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your arguments, which is excellent. However, try to make your conclusion a bit more comprehensive by briefly summarizing the main points discussed in your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the essay prompt effectively and have provided a well-rounded response highlighting the advantages of this global trend.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logically structured, and each paragraph effectively introduces and explores a distinct point related to the main argument.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to illustrate your points about technological advancement and the benefits of global access to products.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?