IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The government's investment in arts, music and theater is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theater #waste #money #governments #funds #services
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
governments
Use synonyms
 invest in many different social activities
such
Linking Words
 as music, arts and theatre. Some people believe that these funds should be invested in public
services
Use synonyms
 by politicians. One of the biggest reasons is to grow up their citizens as
a cultural individuals
Correct the article-noun agreement
a cultural individual
cultural individuals
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, public
services
Use synonyms
 are really important to improve citizens' quality of life;
therefore
Linking Words
 I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because there are both advantages and disadvantages. Both of these viewpoints will be outlined in detail before concluding.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, investing in social activities is caused by people who do not want to live a standard life. and
in addition
Linking Words
, many countries create inflation to pay the country borrows. and these artworks were never impacted by inflation.
Therefore
Linking Words
 the
governments
Use synonyms
 who want to protect the value of money have to buy artworks or something(anything else) that has a limited supply.
For instance
Linking Words
, Mona Lisa sold out 20 million dollars ten years ago, but nowadays ıt is 100 million dollars maybe even more.
Although
Linking Words
 some individuals believe that
this
Linking Words
 is a waste of money, the government try to protect its citizens.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some societies think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
governments
Use synonyms
 should be invested these funds in public
services
Use synonyms
 rather than arts, music or theatre. Politicians can be developed not only bike lanes or streets and
also
Linking Words
 support the homeless.
For example
Linking Words
,
governments
Use synonyms
 can build bus stations to ease human lives.
Thus
Linking Words
, the government can be touched many people's lives. To sum up, greater investment in public
services
Use synonyms
 would ease many congestions. but at the same ,time government policy may be beneficial to protect the country's economy.
Submitted by ozbekibrahimcan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: