Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

It has become
prevalance
Correct your spelling
prevalent
prevalence
among
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
to chase their dreams while studying.
Therefore
, plenty of
school going
Add a hyphen
school-going
show examples
children
start working during their studies, which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
them to struggle with
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
of time for the
school
work
and they usually stay
tensed
Replace the word
tense
show examples
. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall discuss its reasons and possible remedial actions. There are several factors that urge learners to chase
work
and ignore
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
.
Firstly
, lack of awareness of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-term benefits of
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
. To elaborate more, when pupils begin working part-time, they gradually start gravitating towards money and later on during exams they feel themselves under stress.
Secondly
, students
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
to
work
more so that they can earn enough money to buy expensive things
such
as smartphones,
apparels
Fix the agreement mistake
apparel
show examples
, and vehicles which will assist them to
flaut
Correct your spelling
flaunt
flat
extravergent
Correct your spelling
extravagant
lifestyle among peers.
Therefore
,
such
a mindset
divert
Correct subject-verb agreement
diverts
show examples
their focus from
school
learning to job. Parents
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
vital role in
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
nourishment. If they pay attention to their
children
and teach them how education will help them to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their dreams, the
children
's thinking can be changed from job to focus on
study
Add an article
a study
the study
show examples
which will assist them to get
realistic
Add an article
a realistic
the realistic
show examples
luxurious lifestyle. To conclude, greediness
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
money and maintaining high-profile social status
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
peers during
school
time causes the youth to choose
work
over
study
, but parents should provide them guidance and make them aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
of
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
.
Submitted by ralhlucky on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial necessity
  • Tuition
  • Living costs
  • Employability
  • Work experience
  • Under pressure
  • Mismanagement
  • Time-management
  • Academic pursuits
  • Flexible part-time study
  • Financial aid
  • Scholarships
  • Bursaries
  • Collaboration
  • Integrated programs
  • Education
  • Work-life balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: