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Band 4

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#students #work #results #time #education #pressure
It has become
prevalance
Correct your spelling
prevalent
prevalence
 among
youngster
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youngsters
show examples
 to chase their dreams while studying.
Therefore
, plenty of
school going
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school-going
show examples
children
 start working during their studies, which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 them to struggle with
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 of time for the
school
work
 and they usually stay
tensed
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tense
show examples
. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall discuss its reasons and possible remedial actions. There are several factors that urge learners to chase
work
 and ignore
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
.
Firstly
, lack of awareness of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-term benefits of
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
. To elaborate more, when pupils begin working part-time, they gradually start gravitating towards money and later on during exams they feel themselves under stress.
Secondly
, students
wants
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want
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 to
work
 more so that they can earn enough money to buy expensive things
such
 as smartphones,
apparels
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apparel
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, and vehicles which will assist them to
flaut
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flaunt
flat
extravergent
Correct your spelling
extravagant
 lifestyle among peers.
Therefore
,
such
 a mindset
divert
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diverts
show examples
 their focus from
school
 learning to job. Parents
plays
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play
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 vital role in
children
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children's
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 nourishment. If they pay attention to their
children
 and teach them how education will help them to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 their dreams, the
children
's thinking can be changed from job to focus on
study
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a study
the study
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 which will assist them to get
realistic
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a realistic
the realistic
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 luxurious lifestyle. To conclude, greediness
of
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for
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 money and maintaining high-profile social status
in
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with
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 peers during
school
 time causes the youth to choose
work
 over
study
, but parents should provide them guidance and make them aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
.
Submitted by ralhlucky on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial necessity
  • Tuition
  • Living costs
  • Employability
  • Work experience
  • Under pressure
  • Mismanagement
  • Time-management
  • Academic pursuits
  • Flexible part-time study
  • Financial aid
  • Scholarships
  • Bursaries
  • Collaboration
  • Integrated programs
  • Education
  • Work-life balance
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