Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some argue that
parents
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should be responsible for teaching their
children
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how to become valuable members of society,
while
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others believe that
schools
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are better equipped for
this
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task.
Although
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schools
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can provide certain benefits, I am convinced that family upbringing plays a more crucial role in shaping
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children’s
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social values and character. On the one hand,
schools
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can be effective environments for instilling civic responsibility. With structured curricula and
standardized
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standardised
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teaching methods, educational institutions can nurture
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children’s
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intellectual and moral development.
For instance
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, prestigious
schools
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such
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as Trung Vuong and Vinschool have produced distinguished alumni like Professor Ngo Bao and Professor Nguyen Hung, who have made significant contributions to national progress.
Nevertheless
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,
such
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success stories represent only a small proportion of students, and the majority may not receive the
individualized
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individualised
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guidance necessary to become exemplary citizens.
On the other hand
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,
parents
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exert a stronger and more consistent influence on their
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children’s
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moral growth. In Vietnam,
for example
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, the average class size is around 20 students, making it difficult for teachers to provide
personalized
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personalised
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attention.
By contrast
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, one-to-one interactions at home allow
children
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to learn more effectively.
Moreover
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, the emotional bond between
parents
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and
children
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enables
parents
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to shape values from an early age. Simple practices
such
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as bedtime storytelling—through tales like *Robin Hood* or *Cinderella*—can
instill
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instil
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compassion, honesty, and integrity. These lessons, absorbed during formative years, are more likely to guide
children
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toward becoming responsible members of society. In conclusion,
while
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schools
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can contribute to
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children’s
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social development, parental guidance has a deeper and longer-lasting impact.
Therefore
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, I believe that family upbringing is the most important factor in teaching
children
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how to be good citizens.

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task
Task response: Make your view clear in the opening and end. Add more real or common examples to back up your points, not only ideas from the essay. Balance both sides with even depth.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: Use clear links between ideas and short, simple sentences. Your use of 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' helps, but vary links a bit and keep the order easy to follow.
global
Clear view shown in intro and conclusion.
organization
Good contrast with 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand'.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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