IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

WRITING TASK • You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#minutes #plans #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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Both maps display the plan of a public
park
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, in 1920 and how it developed today.
Overall
Linking Words
, the public
park
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 has two entrances, one from the north
side
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 on Arnold Avenue, and
while
Linking Words
 other from the south
side
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 on Eldon Street. There are many changes that happened,
however
Linking Words
, the rose
garden
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 on the north
side
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 next to the first entrance remains the same.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the centre of the
park
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 there was a fountain which has now been replaced with a new rose
garden
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, and all the seats in the corners were removed and relocated around the new rose
garden
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 that you can find in the middle of the
park
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 when you enter the
park
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. Another rose
garden
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 in the southwest of the
park
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 was demolished completely,
while
Linking Words
 on the west there was a stage for musicians converted into the amphitheatre for concerts.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, on the right
side
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 from the north of the
park
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, a rose
garden
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 and pond for water plants were removed and constructed a new cafe and area for children to play. On the southeast, a class house converted into a water feature is next to a third new entrance for people who come from the underground car
park
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ghazl.1998g on

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language
Ensure that minor grammatical issues are minimized to enhance clarity, although these don't significantly hinder understanding.
task achievement
Including more specific examples about the changes in the park can further demonstrate the depth of your analysis.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear comparison of the two time periods and describes the main changes accurately.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, the essay demonstrates good organization and logical sequencing of ideas.
language
The use of language generally conveys ideas effectively with only minor inaccuracies.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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