The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Crime and violence are increasing at an alarming rate in many societies around the world.

Therefore

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, many people recommend limiting the violence shown in films and on television to combat the

crimes

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related to violence in society. I strongly disagree with the given solution because it will threaten the freedom of

Use synonyms

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

Moreover

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, these scenes are not the main reason behind the violent behaviour of

individuals

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but lack of education and poverty are. The foremost reason for disagreeing with the above statement is that often governments misuse these kinds of laws in order to suppress the real issues.

In other words

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, it will threaten the freedom of expression not only of

media

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but

also

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individuals

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For example

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, in Afghanistan, the state has banned many

media

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channels because they were trying to raise awareness in society.

In addition

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, it will

also

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leave the public unaware of the actual problems that a region or a country might be facing since many movies are based on real-life incidents. To illustrate, a film called NH10 which was produced by Anushka Sharma, raised the issue related to honour killing, especially in rural areas.

Additionally

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, people become offenders not by watching movies but because of other underlying reasons

such

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as poverty and illiteracy.

For instance

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, many studies have proven that watching crime thrillers might affect their behaviour in the short term.

However

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, it does not make them serious offenders.

Hence

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, governments should rather focus on the actual reasons behind

crimes

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, and

also

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provide better employment and education opportunities to their citizens. In conclusion,

although

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many people believe that crime thrillers influence

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes

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in society, I oppose the opinion because it will limit

media

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and

individuals

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' freedom to express their opinions.

Besides

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, they are not the underlying reason to motivate

individuals

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to commit

crimes

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Thus

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, the government should concentrate on real issues and the reasons behind them

instead

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gurpreetmann1994Sun May 08 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that relate back to the main argument. Consider restructuring the essay to present a more logical flow of ideas.

task achievement

Address all aspects of the essay prompt in a clear and organized manner. Make sure to provide a stronger stance and support it throughout the essay with more detailed evidence and examples.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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