IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The school library is seeking applicants for a job over summer break. Write a letter to the library’s manager, in your letter include: – A brief introduction of yourself – Your experience and relevant skills – Why you want the job

#school #library #applicants #job #summer #library’s #manager #introduction #skills
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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to express my interest in the vacancy opened by your school library for
summer
Correct article usage
the summer
show examples
 holidays. To commence
with
Change preposition
apply
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, My name is Manpreet Singh and I am pursuing a Computer Science Engineering degree at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Saint Clair
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 in Mississauga.
Also
, I am living on Jameson Street North which is quite close to your library as it is
five
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
minutes
Correct your spelling
five-minute
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 walk from home.
Furthermore
, I used to work as a Data Entry Clerk at Give and Go Foods during my
last
 summer vacations where my main job duties were to handle the data and to manage all the sale,
purchase
Correct word choice
and purchase
show examples
 documents.
Besides
this
,
this
 job helped in
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
 my communication skills
as well as
 time-management skills. As I am on summer break, I would like to nourish my skills
as well as
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
support myself financially.
Finally
, considering my relevant experience makes me a suitable candidate for
this
 opportunity. I am attaching my resume with
this
 letter. I am looking forward to your response. Regards, Manpreet Singh
Submitted by Manpreet Singh on

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task achievement
Consider providing a bit more detail on how your experience is specifically relevant to the library job application, possibly including examples of any tasks that you think are closely related to the role.
coherence cohesion
Add a concluding remark or thank you note before your closing, such as expressing enthusiasm for a potential interview.
coherence cohesion
The letter’s greeting and closing are appropriately polite and match the formal tone of the letter.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph serves a distinct purpose without any overlap, which aids in clarity and readability of the letter.
task achievement
The letter maintains a formal tone suitable for a professional application throughout.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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