IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#scientists #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists
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It is argued that the majority number of modern
people
Use synonyms
 valued a Musician and an Artist less than a Scientist and a
Technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
Technology
show examples
.
This
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 essay agrees with the statement mentioned above because the scientist and the technologies made a significant impact in the modern society and
second
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, the attention of the young
people
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 are mainly on the new
technology
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.
The
Correct article usage
apply
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Science and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology
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expects
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expect
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 done a huge awareness in the community.
This
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 is to say that they obtain the discovery of new
technology
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 that the society has been experiencing
such
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 as cellphones, computers, and tablets. They
catched
Correct your spelling
caught
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 the heart of the
people
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especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 the young generation and
also
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 because
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this gadgets
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this gadget
these gadgets
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 are well used today.
For instance
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, the cellphone almost all
people
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been using
cellphone
Add an article
a cellphone
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 in their daily
living
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lives
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.
Furthermore
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, the attentiveness of the
people
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were
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was
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 captured by
this
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 modern
technology
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.
This
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 means that
the
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apply
show examples
technology
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 has a significant role in
modern
Add an article
the modern
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 world
such
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 as easy access in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peoples daily
living
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lives
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. They made the lives of
people
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 as easy as possible because communication become easily available thru social
application
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applications
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 like
facebook
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Facebook
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 messenger, zoom, and
wechat
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WeChat
.
For instance
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, company meeting was effortless done at home because of the modern
technology
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 provided with
application
Correct article usage
the application
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 of zoom. In conclusion,
this
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 essay supports the idea that the scientist and the
techologist
Correct your spelling
technologist
 are more valued
Correct word choice
than
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that
Correct your spelling
than
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 the musician and the artist because of
huge
Correct pronoun usage
their huge
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 influence
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the community and
second
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, the young
generation's
Change noun form
generation
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heed
Correct subject-verb agreement
heeds
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to
Change preposition
apply
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the modernization.
Submitted by brainfreeze on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • modern society
  • scientists
  • technology experts
  • musicians
  • artists
  • reliance
  • scientific advancements
  • practical benefits
  • driving economic growth
  • daily lives
  • culture
  • human emotions
  • express ideas
  • provoke thought
  • spiritual well-being
  • emotional well-being
  • preserving cultural heritage
  • subjective nature
  • diversity
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