Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is argued that the majority number of modern
people
valued a Musician and an Artist less than a Scientist and a
Technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
Technology
show examples
.
This
essay agrees with the statement mentioned above because the scientist and the technologies made a significant impact in the modern society and
second
, the attention of the young
people
are mainly on the new
technology
.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Science and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
expects
Change the verb form
expect
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
done a huge awareness in the community.
This
is to say that they obtain the discovery of new
technology
that the society has been experiencing
such
as cellphones, computers, and tablets. They
catched
Correct your spelling
caught
show examples
the heart of the
people
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
the young generation and
also
because
this gadgets
Change the determiner
this gadget
these gadgets
show examples
are well used today.
For instance
, the cellphone almost all
people
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
been using
cellphone
Add an article
a cellphone
show examples
in their daily
living
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.
Furthermore
, the attentiveness of the
people
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
captured by
this
modern
technology
.
This
means that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
has a significant role in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
world
such
as easy access in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peoples daily
living
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. They made the lives of
people
as easy as possible because communication become easily available thru social
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
like
facebook
Change the capitalization
Facebook
show examples
messenger, zoom, and
wechat
Correct your spelling
WeChat
.
For instance
, company meeting was effortless done at home because of the modern
technology
provided with
application
Correct article usage
the application
show examples
of zoom. In conclusion,
this
essay supports the idea that the scientist and the
techologist
Correct your spelling
technologist
are more valued
Correct word choice
than
show examples
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
the musician and the artist because of
huge
Correct pronoun usage
their huge
show examples
influence
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the community and
second
, the young
generation's
Change noun form
generation
show examples
heed
Correct subject-verb agreement
heeds
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the modernization.
Submitted by brainfreeze on

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Your opinion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • modern society
  • scientists
  • technology experts
  • musicians
  • artists
  • reliance
  • scientific advancements
  • practical benefits
  • driving economic growth
  • daily lives
  • culture
  • human emotions
  • express ideas
  • provoke thought
  • spiritual well-being
  • emotional well-being
  • preserving cultural heritage
  • subjective nature
  • diversity
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