Some people say that a young person should spend time building a successful career. Others think that spending time with friends and family is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

According to some
people
, the priority of a young
person
should be building a flourishing
career
. Others insist that it is worthier to spend quality
time
with
friends
and family than
focusing
Change the verb form
to focus
show examples
on
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
. In my opinion, it
depends
Add the preposition
ondepends
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a whole lot on what
people
aspires
Change the verb form
aspire
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to achieve in
life
. Those who seek
success
in both personal and professional
life
should certainly strike a balance and those who seek only professional
success
can fully devote their
life
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lives
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to it. It takes tremendous
time
and effort to build a successful
career
. Especially, in
this
age of
Add a hyphen
cut-throat
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cut throat
Correct your spelling
cutthroat
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competition, young
people
who seek professional
success
certainly have to focus on their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. They cannot spend huge amounts of
time
with family members or go partying with their
friends
. Their priority has to be their work and most of the
time
this
will mean that they have to skip family events or social
get togethers
Add a hyphen
get-togethers
show examples
. We live in a society where
people
attach too much importance to professional
success
and as
such
Add a comma
,such
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this
approach certainly has its merits.
On the other hand
,
friends
and family are important too. A
person
’s family,
in particular
, has a vexed interest in their
life
.
For example
, one has to find
time
for one’s spouse and children. Any failure to do that can cause discord within the family and destroy one’s peace of mind and even focus on
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
.
Likewise
, aged parents
also
need a
person
’s love and care and if they are denied it, they may feel neglected.
In other words
, if a
person
has
time
only for their
career
, it is very unlikely that they will have a happy home or
friends
who value them.
This
,
however
, does not mean that
people
can put their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
on the back burner and give more attention to family.
This
strategy may even backfire because family members
also
want a
person
to achieve
career
success
. Of course, family problems will not bother
people
who pursue their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
with a
single minded
Add a hyphen
single-minded
show examples
devotion;
however
,
such
people
are hard to come by and for the vast majority of
people
both professional and personal
success
are essential for their happiness. To conclude, in my opinion, every
person
needs a successful
career
and a harmonious family
life
.
Hence
, I believe that young
people
must certainly focus on their
career
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careers
show examples
but at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
they must
also
find some
time
for their family and
friends
.
Submitted by lvpreetxsmax on

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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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