Some people say that a young person should spend time building a successful career. Others think that spending time with friends and family is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
According to some
people
, the priority of a young person
should be building a flourishing career
. Others insist that it is worthier to spend quality time
with friends
and family than focusing
on Change the verb form
to focus
career
. In my opinion, it Correct article usage
a career
depends
a whole lot on what Add the preposition
ondepends
people
aspires
to achieve in Change the verb form
aspire
life
. Those who seek success
in both personal and professional life
should certainly strike a balance and those who seek only professional success
can fully devote their life
to it.
It takes tremendous Replace the word
lives
time
and effort to build a successful career
. Especially, in this
age of Add a hyphen
cut-throat
cut throat
competition, young Correct your spelling
cutthroat
people
who seek professional success
certainly have to focus on their career
. They cannot spend huge amounts of Fix the agreement mistake
careers
time
with family members or go partying with their friends
. Their priority has to be their work and most of the time
this
will mean that they have to skip family events or social get togethers
. We live in a society where Add a hyphen
get-togethers
people
attach too much importance to professional success
and as such
Add a comma
,such
this
approach certainly has its merits.
On the other hand
, friends
and family are important too. A person
’s family, in particular
, has a vexed interest in their life
. For example
, one has to find time
for one’s spouse and children. Any failure to do that can cause discord within the family and destroy one’s peace of mind and even focus on career
. Correct article usage
a career
Likewise
, aged parents also
need a person
’s love and care and if they are denied it, they may feel neglected. In other words
, if a person
has time
only for their career
, it is very unlikely that they will have a happy home or friends
who value them. This
, however
, does not mean that people
can put their career
on the back burner and give more attention to family. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
This
strategy may even backfire because family members also
want a person
to achieve career
success
.
Of course, family problems will not bother people
who pursue their career
with a Fix the agreement mistake
careers
single minded
devotion; Add a hyphen
single-minded
however
, such
people
are hard to come by and for the vast majority of people
both professional and personal success
are essential for their happiness.
To conclude, in my opinion, every person
needs a successful career
and a harmonious family life
. Hence
, I believe that young people
must certainly focus on their career
but at the same Fix the agreement mistake
careers
time
they must Add a comma
,time
also
find some time
for their family and friends
.Submitted by lvpreetxsmax on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!