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Band 5.5

'There should be no legal age for drinking.' Discuss this statement giving reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#age #support
During the Spring Break in the US, some states had a considerable increase in the number of car accidents during that weekend. The individuals behind those incidents were people under 21 years old. The noise had been so loud that different States issued different red flags to the White House. We’re gonna take a look
about
Change preposition
at
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this
 situation but
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 a list of pros and cons about it.
Although
 across the country there’s a line that every state has to follow
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 subject, there are a few exceptions that vary in each state in terms of consumption,
for example
; people under 21 would be drinking
alcohol
 at home under adult supervision, for medical necessity, and other reasons. Parties which support the frontline argued that setting an age because of data collected thru the
last
 5 years might create new chaos that would be sustainable not only for long weekends and the situation can get out of control. On the other
side
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,side
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 opponents explain the ways
this
 data can be under control if the government sets new policies to make sure that those incidents would never happen again. One of the Pro consists in allowing people between 18 to 20 years
olds
Correct your spelling
old
show examples
 to drink
alcohol
 in regulated environments with supervision would decrease unsafe drinking activity, knowing
this
 segment was the range of ages which were involved in those incidents, don't allow them for drinking, open the door for them to figure out where they can get
alcohol
 and the situation will be continuing same.
On the other hand
, physicians say that even young adults having
alcohol
 consumption can interfere with
development
Add an article
the development
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 of their brain’s frontal lobes, essential for functions
such
 as emotional regulation, planning, and organization. In conclusion, the Federal Government should take a look at all the data and take action because
this
 is having a huge impact on our teenagers. Listening to every party, with different specialists can help to get an agreement. In the
next
Correct quantifier usage
few days
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days
Add a comma
,days
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 we’re gonna have an announcement from the White House.
Submitted by Andrea Barreto on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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