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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, people are woking increasingly longer hours. What are reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative effect.

Due to the competitive era of society and to gain a financially stable life,
people
Use synonyms
 in many nations are imparting their duties more than the prescribed office
hours
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.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 trend can adversely impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working individuals as they may have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lower level of bonding and understanding with their family and extra
working
Replace the word
work
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 can cause them many health issues.
To begin
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 with, the main reason why there is an
increase
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 in the working
hours
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 is the competition in the society as everybody in the professional world has to achieve the given targets in the limited time so
this
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 may require some extra
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
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 and extra working
hours
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also
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.
In addition
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 to it, if there is an
increase
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 in the extra working
hours
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,
people
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 can get financial benefits like overtime incentives and
this
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 may
increase
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 their promotion chances in future as well.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by Oxford University in March
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 2015 manifestly unveiled that 65% of
people
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 accepted that they had increased
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 working
hours
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 because they were able to get financial and promotional benefits from
this
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 approach.
Consequently
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, if there is a considerable
increase
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 in the
longer
Replace the word
long
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hours
Use synonyms
 working,
this
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 may be a reason to decrease bonds with their family members. To explain, when
people
Use synonyms
 start to spend a lot of time at work,
this
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 may decrease their family time and
certainly
Add a comma
,certainly
show examples
 they become oblivious of the issues related to their family.
Hence
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,
this
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 can be a reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 fights in their family.
Moreover
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, an increasing longer
hours
Use synonyms
 working can
affact
Correct your spelling
affect
 negatively on the health of working individuals.
For example
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, working more than eight
hours
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 on computers can
increase
Use synonyms
 the chance of
eye sight
Correct your spelling
eyesight
show examples
 issues and back pain. To conclude, though many
people
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 are opting
longer
Change preposition
for longer
show examples
 working
hours
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 for reasons like competition and financial gains,
this
Linking Words
 trend brings along
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 impact in terms of
lower
Add an article
the lower
a lower
show examples
 level of bonding among their families and fitness.

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