IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that an effective way to reduce industrial pollution is to tax the companies which cause these types of pollution. others think that there are other ways.

#people #pollution #tax #companies
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Due to industrialization,
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
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suffer
Change the verb form
suffers
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 from excessive
pollution
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. Some people argue that implying high tax
in
Change preposition
on
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companies
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an
Add a missing verb
is an
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 efficient means of reducing industrial
pollution
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.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 others believe that there are other effective ways.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline why they support each side and suggest my opinion on the matter. On the one hand, excessive
taxes
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 play
key
Add an article
a key
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 factor in decreasing the
pollution
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 of
companies
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. As owners feel burdened
of
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by
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taxes
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, they will make less number of products.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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pollute
water
Correct article usage
the water
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 and air
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 caused by
producing
Replace the word
production
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.
Moreover
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, when
companies
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 produce a small number of goods, the usage of aircraft and ships that pollute
air
Add an article
the air
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 and the ocean will decrease.
For example
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, recent media in Korea reports that food mileage has increased about 30% from 2001 to 2010 in Korea.
This
Linking Words
 is because of exporting and importing preservative food from a significant number of
companies
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. As the example clearly illustrates, once
companies
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less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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export commodities, they will
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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use fossil fuels that bring about industrial
pollution
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are other compelling
method
Change the wording
methods
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 to address industrial
pollution
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.
Firstly
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, governments can make harsher
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
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of
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on
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pollution
Use synonyms
. When
companies
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 break the law, they have
pay
Fix the infinitive
to pay
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 penalties.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can learn from the consequences of their actions.
In addition
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, governments can allocate state funds to the development of green
energy
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such
Linking Words
 as solar and wind
energy
Use synonyms
 that do not release greenhouse gases. In conclusion, while I accept that implying high
taxes
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 industrial
pollution
Use synonyms
 can sometimes be useful as
companies
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 will produce
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 goods, there is no doubt that implementing harsher legislation and developing
eco friendly
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eco-friendly
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energy
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 more beneficial than
taxes
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. From my point of view, expecting less
producing
Replace the word
production
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 is not realistic since consumers need commodities.
Hence
Linking Words
, making a stricter
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
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 and allocating
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
green
energy
Use synonyms
 by governments can be the most efficient ways.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial deterrent
  • adopt cleaner technologies
  • emissions
  • environmental impact
  • standards
  • emission caps
  • pollution control devices
  • green technologies
  • sustainable practices
  • subsidies
  • eco-friendly solutions
  • punitive measures
  • public awareness campaigns
  • consumer pressure
  • environmental footprint
  • sustainable practices
  • stricter enforcement
  • severe penalties
  • combined approach
  • combat industrial pollution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: