students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. what are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

#students #school #money

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Recently, plenty of young children lack knowledge about financial management. I think that problem is caused by the

schools

Use synonyms

and the

parents

Use synonyms

not

teach

Wrong verb form

teaching

show examples

them and I believe that the

parents

Use synonyms

need to spend more time as well as the

schools

Use synonyms

put more attention on teaching them how to manage

money

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, many teenagers lack the ability to manage budgets. For the

first

Linking Words

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

, the teenagers who grow up in a rich

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

with their

parents

Use synonyms

, which means they have no need to worry about

consumptions

Fix the agreement mistake

consumption

show examples

such

Linking Words

as rental fees, bills, or

buy

Wrong verb form

buying

show examples

food.

For example

Linking Words

, many of my classmates are

allow

Wrong verb form

allowed

show examples

to play all day,

seeing

Wrong verb form

see

show examples

a movies

Correct the article-noun agreement

a movie

movies

show examples

going

Wrong verb form

show examples

to enmainments and

playing

Replace the word

play

show examples

games, because their

parents

Use synonyms

give them

everythings

Correct your spelling

everything

, so they do not have to earn

salary

Add an article

a salary

show examples

Additionally

Linking Words

, the

schools

Use synonyms

only pay attention

Change the preposition

show examples

young people's

achivements

Correct your spelling

achievements

achievement

Schools

Use synonyms

care

Add the comma(s)

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

, a rich environment makes teenagers not realize the

improtant

Correct your spelling

importance

important

of financial management.

Secondly

Linking Words

, saving

money

Use synonyms

and

Correct article usage

the

show examples

important

Change preposition

apply

show examples

things of earning

salary

Correct article usage

a salary

show examples

can be taught by

parents

Use synonyms

. As

parents

Use synonyms

play a severe role in children’s

life

Replace the word

lives

show examples

, they can educate their children

start

Add the particle

to start

show examples

from small things.

For

Change preposition

Instead

show examples

instead

Linking Words

, when the teenager demands a toy,

mother

Add an article

the mother

a mother

show examples

can make them do

Correct article usage

the house

show examples

house work

Correct your spelling

housework

show examples

then

Linking Words

get toys. In doing so,

younagers

Correct your spelling

youngsters

youngers

younger

can

Change the verb form

learn

be learning

show examples

learning

Add the particle

tolearning

show examples

manage

money

Use synonyms

from

small

Add an article

a small

show examples

age. To sum up, a large number of students’ finances rely on their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

;

therefore

Linking Words

, they do not understand the

improtant

Correct your spelling

importance

important

of saving or earning

money

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

, It is important to educate them for life.

Submitted by Nikky on Tue May 10 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In some countries , students live with their family while studying at a university . In other countries ,students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from family home while attending outweigh the disadvantages ?
In some parts of the world, while many students opt for living with their families while following tertiary education, some of them have decided to pursue education in another city. From my standpoint, I believe that one major challenge to this phenomenon, namely financial matters will be exceeded by some apparent merits it offers. Admittedly, students who take a university degree in another region are more likely to deal with financial constraints. Obviously, unlike individuals who study in their hometown where they receive better care from their parents, those students have to allocate budgets viably for living expenses. In other words, a plethora of factors such as accommodation, daily meals and recreational activities make up for a large amount of their expenditures, so people who do not have a solid financial background can find it a daunting task to continue following their studies. Notwithstanding the aforementioned notion, I am of the opinion that some benefits associated wi...
5
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this iş a positive or negatife development
Nowadays many youngster tend to spend their valuable time on their smartphones, it is because, development of digitalization very fast and affecting ever part of the life. There are many reason behind of this situation and I find this development more benefical than negative sides, in the following paragraph I will examine my point of view and will give detail information.
6
band
Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more excercise and spend more time with their family and friends whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems.What are the causes o this and what are some solutions
Nowadays, loneliness and health issues are common phenomena which were different in the past. This essay will suggest the principal causes of these issues and submit some government awareness programs as viable solutions, followed by a reasoned conclusion.
7
band
It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Numerous thoughts have been expressed towards taking risks, about whether or not should we be involved in that type of action, especially in both our work life and our individually casual life. This pungent statement is semi-agreed by me. However, I fully agree in my opinion, to the question, as I believe the success and also the pros and cons rely on the situation itself.
7
band
Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Since time immemorial, art has been an inseparable part of human life. Some believe that it should be an obligatory subject in high school curricula. I tend to hold the mentioned mindset strongly as it can bring about several merits.

students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. what are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries , students live with their family while studying at a university . In other countries ,students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from family home while attending outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this iş a positive or negatife development

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more excercise and spend more time with their family and friends whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems.What are the causes o this and what are some solutions

It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?