students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. what are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

#students #school #money

Recently, plenty of young children lack knowledge about financial management. I think that problem is caused by the

schools

and the

parents

not

teach

Wrong verb form

teaching

show examples

them and I believe that the

parents

need to spend more time as well as the

schools

put more attention on teaching them how to manage

money

To begin

with, many teenagers lack the ability to manage budgets. For the

first

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

, the teenagers who grow up in a rich

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

with their

parents

, which means they have no need to worry about

consumptions

Fix the agreement mistake

consumption

show examples

such

as rental fees, bills, or

buy

Wrong verb form

buying

show examples

food.

For example

, many of my classmates are

allow

Wrong verb form

allowed

show examples

to play all day,

seeing

Wrong verb form

see

show examples

a movies

Correct the article-noun agreement

a movie

movies

show examples

going

Wrong verb form

show examples

to enmainments and

playing

Replace the word

play

show examples

games, because their

parents

give them

everythings

Correct your spelling

everything

, so they do not have to earn

salary

Add an article

a salary

show examples

Additionally

, the

schools

only pay attention

Change the preposition

show examples

young people's

achivements

Correct your spelling

achievements

achievement

Schools

care

Add the comma(s)

show examples

As a result

, a rich environment makes teenagers not realize the

improtant

Correct your spelling

importance

important

of financial management.

Secondly

, saving

money

and

Correct article usage

the

show examples

important

Change preposition

apply

show examples

things of earning

salary

Correct article usage

a salary

show examples

can be taught by

parents

. As

parents

play a severe role in children’s

life

Replace the word

lives

show examples

, they can educate their children

start

Add the particle

to start

show examples

from small things.

For

Change preposition

Instead

show examples

instead

, when the teenager demands a toy,

mother

Add an article

the mother

a mother

show examples

can make them do

Correct article usage

the house

show examples

house work

Correct your spelling

housework

show examples

then

get toys. In doing so,

younagers

Correct your spelling

youngsters

youngers

younger

can

Change the verb form

learn

be learning

show examples

learning

Add the particle

tolearning

show examples

manage

money

from

small

Add an article

a small

show examples

age. To sum up, a large number of students’ finances rely on their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

;

therefore

, they do not understand the

improtant

Correct your spelling

importance

important

of saving or earning

money

Hence

, It is important to educate them for life.

Submitted by Nikky on Tue May 10 2022

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for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. what are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say in orther to prevent illness and disease,governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Computers today can quickly and accurately translate languages; therefore, it is a waste of time to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?