At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

The world’s
population
has changed frequently in the
last
few decades. As of right now, the
population
of young adults outmatched the number of older
people
by a large margin. In
this
essay, I will why I believe that the disadvantages will outweigh the advantages in
this
situation
.
First
of all, having a large quantity of younger
people
in most
situation
is relatively a good thing as younger
people
has more energy and ideas that can benefit the community as a whole. Young adults' ideology is usually affiliated with innovating and trying out new ideas.
This
new mindset of
young
Add an article
a young
the young
show examples
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
has shown positive results in the past new decades
such
as the success of video games, bitcoins, and electric cars. Unfortunately, there are
also
many downsides to having a high
population
of
people
. Following the pattern of the world’s
population
growth throughout the decades, it’s not a stretch to say that the
population
will continue to grow even more in the incoming years.
This
could potentially lead to overpopulation; having too many
people
in the world would inevitably lead to a deficiency of shelters, food, and occupation for everyone. Every citizen from every class and job would suffer from
this
disaster in one way or another leaving no one benefiting from
this
situation
. In conclusion, having a large
population
of young adults could be
Correct your spelling
advantageous
advantagous
Correct article usage
an advantagous
show examples
in new ideas coming out from different mindsets.
On the other hand
, it could lead to overpopulation resulting in the economy crashing and many deaths. In my opinion, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantage in
this
situation
. We should avoid it at any cost.
Submitted by chompunoot.raj on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: