IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the money spent in developing technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree?

#people #money #technology #space #exploration
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The above line graph represents some data about the proportion of ownership of three types of electrical devices in homes. The below line chart depicts the average of
hours
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 in which these appliances were turned on in each household per week. All data is gathered just for an unknown country in a century from 1920 to 2019. Overall, the percentage of people who could buy refrigerators had a significant jump among other appliances. Notably, the average of using all devices had a downward trend in
this
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 period of time.
To begin
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 with, in 1920 almost no one had a refrigerator, 30 per cent and four-tenths used the vacuum cleaners and washing machines, respectively.
However
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this
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 rate changed sharply over time and now 100 per cent of households have access to vacuum cleaners and refrigerators, and fewer than 80 % are washing machine owners which had slight fluctuations during
this
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 century. According to the
second
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 line graph, we see a steep decline in the number of
hours
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 each home use these electronic tools per week from 50
hours
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 in the
first
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 year of
this
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 time to about one-fifth of its amount in 2019. I should mention that
this
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 fall was so sharp until 1960 and
then
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 it was modestly till 3
hours
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 ago.
Submitted by z.sheikhnajdi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
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