Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
These days,
sports
players
may have a high salary compared to those who are working in other fields. While
many people
think it reasonable, others believe it is a sort of underestimating of many other professions. In my opinion, both views are right as rather than caring about sports
players
' salaries, we should think about improving other professions' salaries.
On the one hand, many proponents emphasize that sports
players
earn a great amount of money
as compensation for their short journey. As the player's career may end early due to
an injury or because of a noticeable decrease in their performance, many people
agree that they need to have great deals and gain more money
to be able to manage their future lives. Furthermore
, they notice that to perform well in your sport, you may be restricted by particular rules and diets, and not be able to enjoy your life like the others. For example
, many soccer players
can not eat what they want, to avoid obesity which may end their careers.
On the other hand
, many people
believe that despite players
' short journey still the amount of money
they take is unreasonable and unfair to other work sectors. They argue that professionals in other industries have spent their lives and time being good at what they are doing, and they also
deserve compensation for what they are doing to be able to thrive more. For instance
, many doctors study for nearly 12 years to be specialists, and yet they do not get the same salary as sports
players
. In addition
, they believe other workers like doctors or engineers are trying to help their nations to be better rather than taking their time by watching sports
.
In conclusion, whether people
believe that it is injustice that players
earn money
more than other workers in other professions or not, I think we should focus more on increasing other fields' salaries, so they will be compensated like sports
workers.Submitted by okalqusay on
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coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the clarity of your argument by avoiding repetitions. For example, avoid using the phrase 'short journey' multiple times to describe athletes' careers.
task achievement
Expand on the reasoning for each viewpoint to provide a stronger and more comprehensive discussion. Flesh out the examples and reasons to add depth.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transition between ideas and paragraphs to create a more seamless flow. This can make your argument more compelling and easier for the reader to follow.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task, addressing both views effectively and including your own opinion.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, which add depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, providing a clear start and end to your discussion.