Television dominates the free-time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #free-time #people

Nowadays, technology has been growing rapidly and it affects

people

's life both negatively and positively. There are some

people

who prefer to utilize their leisure

time

by doing something productively

such

as working out, reading a book etc, while others like to stay home and just watch

television

. I definitely agree with the statement that the majority of

people

spend their spare

time

entertaining themselves via

which impacts their health.

First

of all,

people

who only watch

during their free

time

every singly day have a high number of health problems compared to others who do different activities.

For instance

, all of my friends usually watch movies or any videos on

television

during their leisure

time

but they all are overweight caused to a lack of movement. In fact, according to the survey conducted by Healthcare Organization in 2019, the consumption of

among individuals is more than 60% higher in Mongolia and the majority of the viewers were unhealthy and obese due to a lack of movement as well as exercise.

In addition

, even though watching

is one of the best activities that

people

can do and it is enjoyable as well as fascinating,

people

have been lazy and do not want to do anything over the years.

For example

, I personally like to watch

during my free

time

because it helps me to relax.

However

, once I start entertaining myself by watching a movie on the

television

, I always delay my duties and the things that I must work on or should be doing because of the impact of

. In conclusion,

although

there are lots of useful activities and things that

people

can do when they have spare

time

, many individuals just prefer to watch

television

which isolates them from socialising and causes both health issues as well as laziness.

Submitted by khulka.khulan.1 on Tue May 10 2022

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Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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