IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Television dominates the free-time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #free-time #people
Nowadays, technology has been growing rapidly and it affects
people
's life both negatively and positively. There are some
people
 who prefer to utilize their leisure
time
 by doing something productively
such
 as working out, reading a book etc, while others like to stay home and just watch
television
. I definitely agree with the statement that the majority of
people
 spend their spare
time
 entertaining themselves via
TV
 which impacts their health.
First
 of all,
people
 who only watch
TV
 during their free
time
 every singly day have a high number of health problems compared to others who do different activities.
For instance
, all of my friends usually watch movies or any videos on
television
 during their leisure
time
 but they all are overweight caused to a lack of movement. In fact, according to the survey conducted by Healthcare Organization in 2019, the consumption of
TV
 among individuals is more than 60% higher in Mongolia and the majority of the viewers were unhealthy and obese due to a lack of movement as well as exercise.
In addition
, even though watching
tv
 is one of the best activities that
people
 can do and it is enjoyable as well as fascinating,
people
 have been lazy and do not want to do anything over the years.
For example
, I personally like to watch
tv
 during my free
time
 because it helps me to relax.
However
, once I start entertaining myself by watching a movie on the
television
, I always delay my duties and the things that I must work on or should be doing because of the impact of
TV
. In conclusion,
although
 there are lots of useful activities and things that
people
 can do when they have spare
time
, many individuals just prefer to watch
television
 which isolates them from socialising and causes both health issues as well as laziness.
Submitted by khulka.khulan.1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: