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Writing Samples
Band 7

Television dominates the free-time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #free-time #people
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Nowadays, technology has been growing rapidly and it affects
people
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's life both negatively and positively. There are some
people
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 who prefer to utilize their leisure
time
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 by doing something productively
such
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 as working out, reading a book etc, while others like to stay home and just watch
television
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. I definitely agree with the statement that the majority of
people
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 spend their spare
time
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 entertaining themselves via
TV
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 which impacts their health.
First
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 of all,
people
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 who only watch
TV
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 during their free
time
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 every singly day have a high number of health problems compared to others who do different activities.
For instance
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, all of my friends usually watch movies or any videos on
television
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 during their leisure
time
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 but they all are overweight caused to a lack of movement. In fact, according to the survey conducted by Healthcare Organization in 2019, the consumption of
TV
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 among individuals is more than 60% higher in Mongolia and the majority of the viewers were unhealthy and obese due to a lack of movement as well as exercise.
In addition
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, even though watching
tv
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 is one of the best activities that
people
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 can do and it is enjoyable as well as fascinating,
people
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 have been lazy and do not want to do anything over the years.
For example
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, I personally like to watch
tv
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 during my free
time
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 because it helps me to relax.
However
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, once I start entertaining myself by watching a movie on the
television
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, I always delay my duties and the things that I must work on or should be doing because of the impact of
TV
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. In conclusion,
although
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 there are lots of useful activities and things that
people
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 can do when they have spare
time
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, many individuals just prefer to watch
television
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 which isolates them from socialising and causes both health issues as well as laziness.
Submitted by khulka.khulan.1 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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