Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advanatges of this outweigh the disadvanatages?

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Currently, several authorities consider that children should commence learning an alien
language
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at primary schools in lieu of their secondary counterparts. From the writer's perspective, the benefits of early getting better study environments and being culturally aware far outweigh the drawbacks of
language
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disorder.
To begin
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with, approaching a second
language
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at primary schools helps
students
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to enter high-quality education. It must be recognized that if the
students
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have the ability to use 2 languages, especially obtaining particular
language
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certificates, they can gain more study opportunities
such
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as studying overseas. Take China as an example here, where 30% of grade-1
students
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had 75% scholarships to study in the UK's primary schools because they got a band 7.0 in IELTS tests.
Furthermore
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, another positive impact of learning an alien
language
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early is fostering cultural awareness and sensitivity from a young age. To be more specific, through many lessons about a foreign
language
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, the
students
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can achieve more useful knowledge
such
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as the differences in the customs and beliefs of others.
As a result
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, exploring and educating with different cultures helps individuals to strengthen themselves and acquire more valuable experience.
For instance
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, 2700 primary pupils in Indonesia were taught about the industry in the UK which give them various implications about European business.
However
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, some people believe that learning a foreign
language
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at an early age is suffering disorder in
language
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.
In other words
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, because children at the age of 6 to 12 are
also
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in the period of learning their mother tongue fully, individuals easily make mistakes in differing 2 diverse languages.
For example
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, in 2020, The New York Times showed that 75% of Vietnamese
students
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who approached English in grade 4 could not speak their first
language
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clearly
as well as
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fluently. In conclusion, the disadvantage of having a
language
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disorder is outweighed by the advantages of receiving more adequate schooling
along with
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enhancing cultural consciousness .
Hence
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, starting learning a foreign
language
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at secondary school can be more beneficial for children in their educational period.

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and provides a complete response to the question. However, ensure each paragraph strictly focuses on one main idea without introducing new points towards the end. This will strengthen the clarity and coherence of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is good, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To reach a higher score, work on improving the transitions between ideas within paragraphs. This would help in making the essay flow more smoothly and logically.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which significantly strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction that outlines the main points and a conclusion that summarizes your arguments effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adaptable
  • receptive
  • cognitive abilities
  • problem-solving
  • critical thinking
  • early exposure
  • pronunciation
  • natural accent
  • cultural awareness
  • sensitivity
  • integrated
  • enriching educational experience
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