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Band 7

People today are surrounded by advertisement. This both affects what they think is important to them and is negative in their lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #advertisement #lives
Nowadays
advertisements
 filled almost every aspect of our life, from online surfing to gigantic billboards,
people
 have been influenced both consciously and subconsciously. While I agree
advertisements
 have their benefits, overall
this
 is a negative tendency. On the bright side,
advertisements
 provide
people
 with
various
Replace the word
variety
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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choices, sometimes even changing their way of life. Most
people
 prefer to stay in their comfort zone. If they find something
that is
 handy and satisfies their needs, they tend to stick with it for a very long time. Just like many windows system users reject the apple system, the majority of them,
confuesd
Correct your spelling
confused
 the concept of dislike and fear of trying something new. With the push of the
advertisements
, consumers will enter a new world, and let their experience make the final decision.
On the other hand
, various choices are not the only thing that comes with
advertisements
. The disadvantages are
also
 obvious.
First
 of all, it deprives
people
's rights. Some websites in China, which provide online streaming video services, force users to watch
advertisements
 and commercials for up to 180 seconds before watching what they really want to see.
Moreover
,
advertisements
 make
people
 feel less concentrated. To
people
 who are learning tutorials online or doing study or work research from page to page, the pop-up ads disturb their study pace and work efficiency. Billboards and fancy
advertisements
 on the streets will potentially influence drivers, which pose a threat to
people
's lives.
Furthermore
, some
advertisements
 provide false or misleading information, which is harmful to the
next
 generation.
For example
, children who are exposed to unhealthy snack commercials and fancy video game trailers are
therefore
 more likely to develop an incorrect dietary structure and addict to 'electronic heroin'. In conclusion, the disadvantages that advertisement brings outweigh its advantages. Overall, the
advertisements
 around us have a negative impact on us. With proper guidance and new laws introduced by the government can better services provided by the advertising companies.
Submitted by baoyiran019 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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