IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #computer #telephone #job #home
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the development of technology and the needs of today's era, more and more people choose to use their mobile phones and computers to
work
Use synonyms
 online from
home
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay argues
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the advantages and disadvantages
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 working at
home
Use synonyms
. The development of networking and intelligent tools
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
brought a lot of convenience to our lives. With mobile phones and
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
, the
home
Use synonyms
 can become a library, a school, an office and an entertainment
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 makes it possible to
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
. Because all kinds of transactions, from banking to shopping, can be performed electronically, and all information, from train schedules to off-price merchandise, is as close as the press of a key.
However
Linking Words
, despite the increase in efficiency and convenience, the changes it
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
could very well lead to potentially adverse consequences. For instance, as nearly all activities and works could be conducted at
home
Use synonyms
, we might all become hermit-like, never feeling any need to leave our houses.
This
Linking Words
 would be unfortunate because by becoming so addicted to the Internet, we might never be exposed to social interactions. From the preceding discussion, it is readily apparent that working at
home
Use synonyms
 , as an increasingly popular way of working, has both its upsides and downsides. Admittedly, working at
home
Use synonyms
 may be productive and useful.
However
Linking Words
, people who lack self-control,
such
Linking Words
 as adolescents, should try to avoid
this
Linking Words
 working approach, or their academic
work
Use synonyms
 and social lives will eventually pay the
prices
Fix the agreement mistake
price
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
, adults should
also
Linking Words
 try to avoid only working at
home
Use synonyms
, though the lack of face-to-face communication can improve
work
Use synonyms
 efficiency in the short term,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it is not conducive to
long-term
Add an article
the long-term
show examples
 development of our career.
Submitted by chengx on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: