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Band 6

Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

#health #people
Multiple studies have shown that the risk of death generally decreased as
people
 walked more. Even though we know that walking benefits our
health
, we still select other ways
instead
 of walking in our
life
. In
this
 essay, I will illustrate the underlying reasons for fewer
people
 walking these days and outline a way in which
this
 issue can be tackled.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 the reason why fewer
people
 are walking is to seek efficiency in
life
. As technology advances,
people
 have a lack of chances to walk in their daily routine. Driving cars and taking public transportation is the main way that
people
 select to move to another place. It does help
people
 save time in daily
life
, but it
also
 reduces walking time every
day
.
In addition
, generally,
people
 feel exhausted after work, so they tend to be lazy and veg out on the sofa.
Furthermore
,
people
 might go to the gym regularly on the weekends
instead
 of walking for over 30 minutes per
day
. One possible approach is to develop a habit of walking for over 30 minutes every
day
.
People
 can take a walk after dinner
instead
 of staying in and vegging out.
Moreover
, brisk walking benefits
health
 as well. To be brisk walking for at least 30 minutes a
day
 has some
health
 benefits,
such
 as a drop in blood pressure. In conclusion, we already know that walking does benefit our
health
. We should form a habit of walking to live longer and have a better healthy
life
.
Submitted by nanami641003 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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