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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nature has a more significant impact on human adult intelligence than nurture. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#nature #impact #adult #intelligence
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Some experts believe that nurture has more influence on adult intelligence than nature does. I completely agree with
this
 statement and I believe that an adult's intelligence depends on the genes that he inherited from his parents.
First
 of all, I believe that genes have a huge influence on the development of human intelligence.
In particular
, facial features, character,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
 the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of children and parents are very similar. For
this
 reason, children often continue in their parent’s business because they were born with a
talent
 for it.
For example
, the son of the great musician James Hatfield
also
 created his own music band and now makes the same music as his father. So, we should not forget that nature gives us
abilities
Correct article usage
the abilities
show examples
 and
talent
 for anything. Another reason I disagree with
this
 statement is that some
people
are have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 inborn
talent
. Some
people
, given the same opportunities and conditions, develop faster than other
people
.
Accordingly
, the results of their activities and their work are better than those of their peers or colleagues. As an example, in
schools
Add a comma
,schools
show examples
 all children study under the same conditions and under the supervision of the same teacher, but
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 some learn faster and get better grades than others.
Therefore
, not all
people
 are the same because of innate skill and
talent
. To summarize, some
people
 from birth are better than others at a certain activity.
Submitted by Zhbiroksana on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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