IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. Others argue that they should spend more money on medical care and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #money #theatres #sports #stadiums #care #education
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It is believed by some that spending
money
Use synonyms
 on new theatres and
sports
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 facilities is unnecessary, while others say that the
government
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 should invest more in education and medicine. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 medical care is important, spending
money
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 on culture and
sports
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 is no less valuable for society. On the one hand, some people support the opinion that theatres, museums and stadiums are not valuable enough to spend much
money
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 on them.
In particular
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, a regular person can live easily without football competitions or art performances, because they care most about food, health and family.
Therefore
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, putting
money
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 into
such
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 buildings and activities is useless for the community, and there are many other ways to use these investments,
such
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 as improving roads condition.
On the other hand
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, it is thought by many that the
government
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 should spend more on improving medicine or education.
For example
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, some people require expensive and immediate complex procedures, and not all of them can afford them on their own. The
government
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 has an opportunity to save the lives of many people, who are not that rich and healthy enough to take care of themselves. Regarding education, many young students do not have
money
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 to pay for a good university, and the
government
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 should spend more to help them.
Finally
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, in my opinion, though medical and educational purposes are important for many, cultural development should not be forgotten.
In other words
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, intellectual improvement is not less valuable for the person than a physical one, and in order to create a smart and strong society, the
government
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 should pay attention to the cultural and
sports
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 facilities as well. In conclusion, as soon as the
government
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 has enough investments, it should support not only medical and educational areas, but
also
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 put
money
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 into cultural and
sports
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 activities,
such
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 as stadiums or museums.
Submitted by mary.virtuozo on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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