IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think computers and internet are important in children's study, but others think students can learn effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #computers #internet #children #study #students #schools #teachers
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Computer and
internet
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the lifeline for the
gobal
Correct your spelling
global
 connected
world
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 and online technology
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 not yet reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each and every human in
globe
Add an article
the globe
show examples
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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it is enough
widespade
Correct your spelling
widespread
wide spade
wide space
 to safely assume that it is almost
everyware
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everywhere
. Nowadays, because of
this
Linking Words
corona
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
virus
Add a comma
,virus
show examples
pendamic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
 schools are being forced to continue via remote learning. As an aftereffect, in many parts of the
world
Use synonyms
 people have
experiancing
Correct your spelling
experiencing
 the pros and cons
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 new way of learning.
However
Linking Words
, some
individuls
Correct your spelling
individuals
 among us argue that in-person study is always better
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 online
Correct your spelling
education
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eduction
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
 and we should switch back to
original
Correct article usage
the original
show examples
metod
Correct your spelling
method
 but most
Correct your spelling
believe
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belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that we should keep utilizing
this
Linking Words
 new way of study. Both sides have merits in their arguments but I believe that we should
contine
Correct your spelling
continue
 utilizing online resources for the
eduction
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
 in schools in restricted menor. Let's
expolore
Correct your spelling
explore
 the bright side of it.
Internet
Use synonyms
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
 of
huge
Add an article
the huge
a huge
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 amount of information, and by utilizing that,
students
Use synonyms
 get quick access to various ideas and share
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 thoughts
over
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the topic and share their knowledge across the
world
Use synonyms
 with other
students
Use synonyms
, which will intern help them
coloborate
Correct your spelling
collaborate
 and
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 common goals.
Linking Words
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 objective
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 and mobile
device based
Add a hyphen
device-based
show examples
 learning is to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 in remote villages so that each child
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
proper
Add an article
a proper
the proper
show examples
 education. During
this
Linking Words
pendamic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
world
Use synonyms
 has started realizing the major advantage about
type
Add an article
the type
show examples
 of education. Previously,
this
Linking Words
 thing came under
wants
Correct article usage
the wants
show examples
 list for that
world
Use synonyms
 but now
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
unders
Correct your spelling
under
needs
Correct article usage
the needs
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, so many people have started
experiancing
Correct your spelling
experiencing
 the worts side effect from connected studies.
Although
Linking Words
, many children have followed the do-as-directed path on
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 guided by their
perents
Correct your spelling
parents
 or teachers, the
explorotory
Correct your spelling
exploratory
 nature
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 many
students
Use synonyms
, has exposed
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
social
Change preposition
to social
show examples
 media
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 unwanted effect on their early childhood. The
internet
Use synonyms
 has many harmful materials, as well as people with malicious motives which can ruin the physical and
mantol
Correct your spelling
mental
 health of the student.
For example
Linking Words
, in many
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
 around the
globe
Add a comma
,globe
show examples
 we have started noticing drastic
incriment
Correct your spelling
increment
 in cases related to online abuses.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we can argue that we should consider
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 team impact on a
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
 future before blindly following the new way of study. In
concusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
concussion
, we can
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 say that both views have valid arguments. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 need to
srutinize
Correct your spelling
scrutinize
 more on
this
Linking Words
 subject before deciding
path
Add an article
a path
show examples
 forward. At least, we must monitor
user
Add an article
the user
show examples
 of
compupter
Correct your spelling
computer
computers
 and
internet
Use synonyms
 by small and teenager
students
Use synonyms
 with the help of their parents and teachers.
Submitted by rahulkthakar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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