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Nowadays, in many countries, young people do not stay with their parents. Instead , they move to another place to work or study. In your opinion, is this a positive or negative trend?

#countries #people #parents #move #place #work #study #trend
In recent years, a lot of young people decided to
move
 out of their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 place for various reasons
instead
 of staying with them. Personally, I think that moving out of your
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 house is a positive trend because
this
 will make them more independent and make them grow as
an individuals
Correct the article-noun agreement
an individual
individuals
show examples
. I will explain my reasons in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, when a young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
move
Change the verb form
moves
show examples
 out of their
parents
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
show examples
 house it
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
usually
Add a comma
,usually
show examples
 they want to experience freedom.
For instance
, I used to be not allowed to go out past 9 PM .
However
, when I moved out I have the freedom to go wherever and whenever I want. I felt free for the
first
 time in my life, I can my skills as a musician with my friends which
probably
Add a missing verb
was probably
show examples
 not allowed by my
parents
.
This
 experience I believe is why young people
move
 out of their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some might leave because of the necessity.
For example
, my friend decided to
move
 out because of a disagreement between him and his
parents
. Nowadays, he
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 to terms with his
parents
 about the subject they do not agree about.
Thus
, I believe that some people
move
 out to set a distance
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their
parents
. In conclusion, moving out might not be a bad thing because it
teach
Change the verb form
teaches
show examples
 us to be independent and some
move
 out because of conflict with their
parents
. It is
thus
 hoped that moving out will make you into a better adult.
Submitted by nadhfharyo on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Independence
  • Personal growth
  • Responsibility
  • Educational institutions
  • Career opportunities
  • Cultural exchange
  • Open-mindedness
  • Isolation
  • Homesickness
  • Financial pressure
  • Support network
  • Familial ties
  • Cultural values
  • Dilution
  • Transparency
What to do next:
Look at other essays: