IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion

#people #sport #part #school #life #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Physical
Education
Use synonyms
 is a mandatory part of most schools' curricula. Some people agree that
sport
Use synonyms
 is a necessary subject at
school
Use synonyms
 while some people disagree. From my personal view, I agree that Physical
Education
Use synonyms
 should be compulsory for
school
Use synonyms
 children to create healthy habits for children. Apparently, not every schoolchild enjoys playing sports.
For instance
Linking Words
, mandatory swimming class was a terrible experience for my friend who has a phobia of pools. Obviously, not everyone is suitable for every type of
sport
Use synonyms
 both physically and mentally. In my opinion, compulsory Physical
Education
Use synonyms
 should not force students to do activities that they don’t enjoy. It can
also
Linking Words
 be risky to force children on a certain kind of
sport
Use synonyms
 as well,
for example
Linking Words
, there was a girl who went unconscious and later passed away
as a result
Linking Words
 of the running class at my
school
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, from my personal experience
who
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 went to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
school
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 physical
Education
Use synonyms
 is compulsory as a specific type of
sport
Use synonyms
 for each semester. I tried many kinds of sports,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 swimming, judo, football, hockey, dancing, tennis, basketball, etc. If it wasn’t mandatory I wouldn’t get to try
this
Linking Words
 many activities and found some that I enjoy doing.
In addition
Linking Words
, Physical
Education
Use synonyms
 can take students’ minds off their stressful subjects and create a healthy habit of exercising. In conclusion,
sport
Use synonyms
 is an imperative part of
education
Use synonyms
 as exercising is a part of a healthy lifestyle, in my opinion.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there should be several types of
sport
Use synonyms
 for each student to choose as they prefer.
Submitted by pearl12346 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: