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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society
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Nowadays, there is
not
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no
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 agreement
around
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on
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 what should be the goal of the
universities
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. For some people, colleges must help
students
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 to
increases
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increase
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 their chances to get well-paid jobs, while for others their role is related to the
possibillity
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possibility
 to civilize individuals and nurture our societies and culture. In
this
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 brief dissertation, I'd like to discuss both
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point
Change to a plural noun
points
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 of
view
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, as well as
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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draft a final conclusion pointing out a
medium term
Add a hyphen
medium-term
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 among them. To start with the
first
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point
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 of
view
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, it seems undeniable that
in
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at
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 some
point
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of
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in
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 their lives, people will need to find a job, and their possibilities to find it
are
Change the verb form
is
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 very tied to the level of formal education they have. As a consequence of
this
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, both individuals and society expect that
universities
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 can provide
of
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apply
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the right set of skills, whether
them
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apply
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hard or soft, to their
students
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,
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otherwise
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,otherwise
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 they're not going to be able to
succed
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succeed
 after
graduate
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graduation
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.
However
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, even if I agree with
this
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, it is
also
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 important to notice that not all the education of
the
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apply
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future generations should be restricted by present working demands. And
that is
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precisaly
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precisely
 what makes me connect with the
second
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point
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 of
view
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. Regarding it, it is especially important to
point
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 out that
universities
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also
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 play an important role in training people in a more holistic way, by
transmiting
Correct your spelling
transmitting
 cultural and social aspects,
such
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 as values, norms, and ways of thinking. In
this
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 sense, if we reduce the role of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education to the need to find a job, we
also
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limiting
Wrong verb form
limit
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 the potential of the
students
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 and their future.
Puting
Correct your spelling
Putting
 an example: I currently don't work in something related to what I studied, but all the informal contents that the university provided me are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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crucial to me in order to find a good job and perform well in it. In conclusion, from my
view
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, what the
universities
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 need to find is a balance between functional and meaningful
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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.
In other words
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, colleges should not forget the full picture while they're trying to help
students
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 to get jobs.
Submitted by verzuba on

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