IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Children are addicted to smart phones. What is causes and solutions ?.

#children #phones
It has been observed that owing to the advancement in technology various mobile
phones
 are attracting
children
thus
 usage of
phones
 becomes an addiction for them. There are several reasons for
such
 a situation and
also
 a few visible influences too. Both the aspects are explained in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
 with the reasons, the most common one is it provides easy access to the entertainment.
This
 is because cell
phones
 are handy and portable devices. All of them are having multitudinous applications along with games.
Thus
,
children
 use it without going outside of their homes.
For example
, according to a survey conducted by the central ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
government it is proven that nowadays most youngsters are spending their free time playing mobile games as compared to taking part in outdoor activities.
Furthermore
, the other cause is mobile games attract lots of students. The reason behind
this
 is including 3D animation technology as well as graphic. It can provide a live experience to the people while using and create a long-lasting impression in their minds. The best epitome is the Pub-G game. According to a report from the IT ,department it is highly popular among school going students because of its unique features.
On the contrary
 , there are some proactive measures to mitigate the addition of
phones
.
Firstly
, parents should not provide mobile
phones
 to
children
 at an early age. It is fact that if guardian allows them to
use
Correct pronoun usage
ituse
show examples
, they will demand it regularly.
Additionally
,
children
 are being taught by their parents to spend more time in other sports in lieu of playing on digital
phones
.
As a result
, they may not depend on mobile
phones
 for their entertainment. In conclusion, notwithstanding there are few causes
such
 as easy accessibility and attractive features, teaching outdoor sports to the
children
 can help them not depend on their
phones
.
Submitted by dipendharmani786 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: