Nowadays, celebrities are more known for their glamour and wealth than their accomplishments and this is setting a bad example for the youngsters. Do you agree or disgaree with the statement ?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #accomplishments #youngsters #disgaree

It is often argued that in

this

present era, superstars are more

poplular

Correct your spelling

popular

for their

fashionable

Replace the word

fashion

show examples

trends and wealth rather

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

their achievements and

this

may have a negative influence on the young generation. I strongly opine that youngsters can get persuaded very easily by the glamour world and it may have adverse effects on their academics and future.

Firstly

, nowadays, people get very fascinated

towards

Change preposition

with

show examples

stardom

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

the youth. Undoubtedly social media plays a

pivot

Replace the word

pivotal

show examples

role in advertising celebrities and they can be easily followed on many social applications

such

as Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and many more. The young generation follows them and

Change the verb form

does

show examples

get fascinated by their style statements and branded clothes.

Furthermore

this

leads to

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

in the expenses and more financial burden for the parents. So, pupils should be taught that fashion is a need and not

luxury

Correct article usage

a luxury

show examples

Secondly

, many youngsters get deviated from their path of academics by getting inspired

from

Change preposition

show examples

the stardom of the actors.

This

may lead to their poor academic performance and low grades.

This

will definitely have

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

impact on their future.

For instance

now a days

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

celebrities are doing

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of commercials for increasing their wealth knowingly these are not beneficial for the society. But youth look upon them as role models and certainly

this

kind of publicity is not good for the welfare of the people and community. So, in the conclusion, I believe

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation is very

vulnreable

Correct your spelling

vulnerable

and they easily get motivated by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stardom. And nowadays, actors and superstars are mostly known for glamour rather than for noble cause and

certainly

Add a comma

,certainly

show examples

this

sets a bad example for the

yongsters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

who are the building blocks of the nation.

Submitted by drvishal13 on Thu May 12 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, celebrities are more known for their glamour and wealth than their accomplishments and this is setting a bad example for the youngsters. Do you agree or disgaree with the statement ?

modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced amount of time people spend seeing their friends this has had a negative effect on their social lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

The figure gives information about smoking habits of the UK population by age. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people believe that not all criminals should be kept in prison, but that some of them should be allowed to do unpaid work to help the community. Do you agree or disagree?

Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?