Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #music #role #society #form #entertainment

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Some

people

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argue that

music

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is just a component of enjoyment, while others argue that

music

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has a great influence on the public.

This

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essay will outline why they support each side and suggest my opinion on the matter. On the one hand, some

people

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assert that

music

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is just one

part

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entertainment

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the entertainment

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. A significant number of

people

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play

music

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when they have a party in order to enjoy the moment. In fact, there are many bars and night clubs over the world that play

music

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to make their customers feel enjoyable.

Hence

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music

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is a

part

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entertainment

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the entertainment

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that

people

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become pleased

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with.

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Comparably, while

people

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can live without

music

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, they cannot sustain their living without public services.

Therefore

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music

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is not an integral

part

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contemporary society.

Hence

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music

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does not take

part

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crucial

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a crucial

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part

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society.

On the other hand

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, some argue that

music

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is indispensable in

the

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apply

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modern society. There are compelling reasons.

Firstly

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music

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help

people

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maintain national identities as

music

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represent

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represents

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culture. Not only can

music

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protect culture, but it may

also

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contribute to

people

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keeping history, thereby leading to having national identities among citizens.

In addition

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music

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plays a key factor in reducing the severe symptoms of mental health illnesses since it helps

people

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concentrate on

music

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rather than obsessional thinking.

For example

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, Recent media in Korea reports that almost 80% of mental hospitals in Korea use

music

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as a therapeutic method

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for

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patients. As the example clearly illustrates,

music

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provide

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provides

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an efficient means of maintaining citizens’ mental health. From my perspective,

music

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has

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apply

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power since it motivates and encourages the population in order to overcome difficulties.

For instance

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, when Japan conquered Korea during

the

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apply

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world war 2, Korean ancestors kept singing to maintain persistence and resistance.

As a result

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, they could get their country back.

Hence

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music

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provides courage to

people

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. In conclusion,

although

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music

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can sometimes be just enjoyable, there is no doubt that

music

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has

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apply

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great power on the public.

Music

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help

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helps

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people

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have national identities, treat mental illnesses

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apply

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and

encourage

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encourages

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them to deal with difficulties.

Submitted by hiasince38 on Thu May 12 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.5

Complete response

8.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

349 words

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Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and provide your opinion.

Space exploration costs taxpayers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages of spending money on space exploration?

In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this aﬀects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?