IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In most countries, prison is an effective solution for the problem of crime. Some people think a more effective solution is to provide a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

In many countries,
prison
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 is seen as an important way to deal with
crime
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.
However
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, some
people
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 believe that providing better
education
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 is a more effective solution.
This
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 essay will discuss both views.
Firstly
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,
prisons
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 are used to keep criminals away from
society
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. Judges decide how long someone should stay in
prison
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 based on the
crime
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 they committed. The fear of going to
prison
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 can stop
people
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 from committing crimes.
Prisons
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also
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 provide a place for criminals to live
while
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 serving their sentences. In some cases, prisoners can learn basic skills and literacy, which may help them live better lives after release.
On the other hand
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,
education
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 can help prevent
crime
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 before it happens. In poor and remote areas, children often do not have access to good
education
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. Some of these children may turn to
crime
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,
such
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 as stealing or joining criminal groups, to survive. They may not understand the consequences of their actions.
People
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 who receive good
education
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 usually have better discipline and more chances to get stable jobs. Having a stable job helps
people
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 support themselves and their families, which can reduce the
crime
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 rate. When more
people
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 have jobs,
society
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 becomes more peaceful and economically stable.
This
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 shows that
education
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 plays an important role in preventing
crime
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. In conclusion, both
prisons
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 and
education
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 are important in reducing
crime
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.
Prisons
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 punish criminals and protect
society
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,
while
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education
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 helps prevent
crime
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 by giving
people
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 better opportunities. I believe that governments and citizens should work together to improve
education
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 and maintain effective
prison
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 systems.
This
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 combined effort can help create a safer and more stable
society
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.
Overall
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, a balance between punishment and prevention is necessary to address the problem of
crime
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 effectively.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main idea.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points about education preventing crime.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the topic and the essay's purpose.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and presents a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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