IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
The world’s
population
 has changed frequently in the
last
 few decades. As of right now, the
population
 of young
adults
 outmatched the number of older
people
 by a large margin. In
this
 essay, I'll explain why I think the cons will be more important than the pros in
this
 situation.
First
 of all, having a large quantity of younger
people
 in most situations is relatively a good thing, as younger
people
 have more energy and ideas that can benefit the community as a whole. Young
adults
' ideology is usually associated with innovating and trying out new ideas.
This
 new mindset of young
adults
 has shown positive results in the past few decades,
such
 as the success of video games, bitcoins, and electric cars. Unfortunately, there are
also
 many downsides to having a high
population
 of
people
. Following the pattern of the world’s
population
 growth throughout the decades, it’s not a stretch to say that the
population
 will continue to grow even more in the upcoming years.
This
 could potentially lead to overpopulation; having too many
people
 in the world would inevitably lead to a deficiency of shelters, food, and occupations for everyone. Every citizen from every class and job would suffer from
this
 disaster in one way or another, leaving no one benefiting from
this
 situation. In conclusion, having a large
population
 of young
adults
 could be advantageous in terms of new ideas coming from different mindsets.
On the other hand
, it could lead to overpopulation, resulting in the economy crashing and many deaths. In my opinion, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages in
this
 situation. We should avoid it at any cost.
Submitted by chompunoot.raj on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
Look at other essays: