Some people think new homes need to be built with private outdoor space such as a garden, yard, or balcony. Do you think this is more advantageous or more disadvantageous?

#people #homes #space #garden #yard #balcony

Nowadays, houses that come with private outdoor places are quite popular among home buyers. Despite some minor drawbacks, I believe there are more benefits of

such

a design. Generally speaking,

outdoor

Correct article usage

an outdoor

show examples

area is a luxury to have. Given limited land resources in many countries, it is not practical to equip every new house with a private garden or balcony which can be expensive and unaffordable to many people.

In addition

, private outdoor

space

Fix the agreement mistake

spaces

show examples

such

as a garden or a yard will take extra resources to maintain. While some enjoy gardening and find it quite relaxing watering flowers or mowing the lawn, others find it quite burdensome. Maintaining a nice-looking garden can be laborious work, which will add to house maintenance costs as well. That being said, the advantages of outdoor areas are greater given that they can improve the quality of living significantly.

Firstly

, families with young children will have more room for their toddlers to play around and do outdoor activities, which is crucial to their physical health. Parents will

also

have a perfect spot to spend quality time with their kids.

Moreover

, an outdoor place improves mental health as well. Being close to nature has proven to be effective in reducing pressure. If you have a balcony that faces the ocean, you will be able to enjoy the fresh air at the convenience

Change preposition

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your own home. If one’s financial conditions allow, purchasing a property that comes with

Remove the article

apply

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private outdoor space is an ideal option. In summary, despite the additional resources needed for maintaining gardens or yards, the health benefits

definitely

Add a missing verb

are definitely

show examples

worth the investment.

Submitted by siqichen14 on Fri May 13 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think new homes need to be built with private outdoor space such as a garden, yard, or balcony. Do you think this is more advantageous or more disadvantageous?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

You recently ate at a local restaurant with your family and want to write to the local newspaper to tell them About the restaurant What you ate Why you would / would not recommend this restaurant

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. Do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development

Nowadays, International Tourism is one of the biggest industries in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.