Some people think new homes need to be built with private outdoor space such as a garden, yard, or balcony. Do you think this is more advantageous or more disadvantageous?

#people #homes #space #garden #yard #balcony

Nowadays, houses that come with private outdoor places are quite popular among home buyers. Despite some minor drawbacks, I believe there are more benefits of

such

a design. Generally speaking,

outdoor

Correct article usage

an outdoor

show examples

area is a luxury to have. Given limited land resources in many countries, it is not practical to equip every new house with a private garden or balcony which can be expensive and unaffordable to many people.

In addition

, private outdoor

space

Fix the agreement mistake

spaces

show examples

such

as a garden or a yard will take extra resources to maintain. While some enjoy gardening and find it quite relaxing watering flowers or mowing the lawn, others find it quite burdensome. Maintaining a nice-looking garden can be laborious work, which will add to house maintenance costs as well. That being said, the advantages of outdoor areas are greater given that they can improve the quality of living significantly.

Firstly

, families with young children will have more room for their toddlers to play around and do outdoor activities, which is crucial to their physical health. Parents will

also

have a perfect spot to spend quality time with their kids.

Moreover

, an outdoor place improves mental health as well. Being close to nature has proven to be effective in reducing pressure. If you have a balcony that faces the ocean, you will be able to enjoy the fresh air at the convenience

Change preposition

show examples

your own home. If one’s financial conditions allow, purchasing a property that comes with

Remove the article

apply

show examples

private outdoor space is an ideal option. In summary, despite the additional resources needed for maintaining gardens or yards, the health benefits

definitely

Add a missing verb

are definitely

show examples

worth the investment.

Submitted by siqichen14 on Fri May 13 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think new homes need to be built with private outdoor space such as a garden, yard, or balcony. Do you think this is more advantageous or more disadvantageous?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

All sudents should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school, replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assignments. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet.