Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
modern world, with the development of technology, we have
computers
.
Hence
, some
people
feel that
museums
and
art
galleries
have become less important because we can view valuable
artworks
on our
computers
. I generally disagree with
this
. In
this
essay, I will discuss that
although
it is becoming more and more popular on
computers
,
museums
and
art
galleries
’s experiences are better than
computers
.       On the one hand,
museums
and
art
galleries
are irreplaceable because they house many historic and valuable works of
art
.
Furthermore
,
artworks
in
museums
show more details than on
computers
.
For example
, when we look at
artworks
online, we cannot appreciate their history and value. We can only see a photo.
Next,
sculptures exhibited in
museums
and
art
galleries
allow viewers to marvel at the exquisite skills of each artist to create
such
precise
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
.
Therefore
, we cannot see the details that the artists put into their artwork on the computer screen.
As a result
,
museums
and
art
galleries
need to be preserved.      
On the other hand
, nowadays, we generally use
computers
;
this
has resulted in reduced demand for facilities in our
museums
and
art
galleries
.
For example
, nowadays many
people
use
computers
to view these
artworks
and obtain extensive information, so
people
go to
museums
and
art
galleries
less.
Consequently
, interest in
art
increases even among those who have never been to
museums
thanks to the abundant materials of
art
online.          In conclusion, I don't completely agree that we do not need
museums
and
art
galleries
.
This
is because the
artworks
in
museums
and
art
galleries
are very important historically, but now many
people
check them online, so few
people
go to see them. I suggest that
museums
and
art
galleries
innovate and develop to attract
people
.
Submitted by hanz.hyz326 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or studies to support your points. This would strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all your sentences are clear and easy to understand. Sometimes simplifying your sentence structure can have a big impact on readability.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the issue, making it easy for the reader to understand your standpoint.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully included an introduction and conclusion that summarize the key points of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Good use of transition words like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to distinguish between different viewpoints.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual
  • digital
  • online
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • cultural heritage
  • physical experience
  • immersion
  • local tourism
  • economy
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