Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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modern world, with the development of technology, we have
computers
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.
Hence
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, some
people
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feel that
museums
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and
art
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galleries
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have become less important because we can view valuable
artworks
Use synonyms
on our
computers
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. I generally disagree with
this
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. In
this
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essay, I will discuss that
although
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it is becoming more and more popular on
computers
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,
museums
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and
art
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galleries
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’s experiences are better than
computers
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.       On the one hand,
museums
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and
art
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galleries
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are irreplaceable because they house many historic and valuable works of
art
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.
Furthermore
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,
artworks
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in
museums
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show more details than on
computers
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.
For example
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, when we look at
artworks
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online, we cannot appreciate their history and value. We can only see a photo.
Next,
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sculptures exhibited in
museums
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and
art
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galleries
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allow viewers to marvel at the exquisite skills of each artist to create
such
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precise
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
.
Therefore
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, we cannot see the details that the artists put into their artwork on the computer screen.
As a result
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,
museums
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and
art
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galleries
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need to be preserved.      
On the other hand
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, nowadays, we generally use
computers
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;
this
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has resulted in reduced demand for facilities in our
museums
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and
art
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galleries
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.
For example
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, nowadays many
people
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use
computers
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to view these
artworks
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and obtain extensive information, so
people
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go to
museums
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and
art
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galleries
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less.
Consequently
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, interest in
art
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increases even among those who have never been to
museums
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thanks to the abundant materials of
art
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online.          In conclusion, I don't completely agree that we do not need
museums
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and
art
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galleries
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.
This
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is because the
artworks
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in
museums
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and
art
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galleries
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are very important historically, but now many
people
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check them online, so few
people
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go to see them. I suggest that
museums
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and
art
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galleries
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innovate and develop to attract
people
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.
Submitted by hanz.hyz326 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or studies to support your points. This would strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all your sentences are clear and easy to understand. Sometimes simplifying your sentence structure can have a big impact on readability.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the issue, making it easy for the reader to understand your standpoint.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully included an introduction and conclusion that summarize the key points of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Good use of transition words like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to distinguish between different viewpoints.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual
  • digital
  • online
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • cultural heritage
  • physical experience
  • immersion
  • local tourism
  • economy
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