One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increased. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

It is true that the longevity of the public is raised
as a result
of better treatment in medical centres and nursing homes. Critics may disagree with me, but I believe that the disadvantages of
this
change are outweighed by the advantages. On the one hand, the increased life expectancy of the community can lead to overpopulation of the planet.
In other words
, today the figure of birth is rising noticeably in many regions, so if there is not any loss, the number of population living in the future will climb.
For instance
, it can be observed in Japan which is in a group of countries with the most developed healthcare programmes, nowadays the folk realises that people's density is too high which makes their life more difficult.
On the other hand
, with an increased number of ,oldsters the younger generation might be grown up in a correct way. Presently, a large number of workers who have a child experience a serious lack of time to allocate to them. There older people who are mostly retired can help, looking after children and setting in them up a correct behaviour.
For example
, one of the most successful businessmen Roben Galvani was grown up with his grandparents while his father has been working in another region.
Moreover
,
this
change will decrease the cases of mental injuries that the young population gains after the death of their parents. Several scrutinies held lately proved that a big proportion of people whose parents died when they were under thirty-four felt depressed for about two years. One of the most vivid examples of
this
may be the same Roben Galvani who lost his grandfather at the age of twenty-six after which he fully stopped working and as a consequence lost his business too. In conclusion,
although
improvements in medicine can make our habitat overpopulated, the community which has good behaviour and does not face any mental issues is much more important.
Submitted by jaker.raimov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improve your writing score in 2 weeks
Get 60% discount and enjoy a quick and easy way to check IELTS Writing Task 1&2!

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Check IELTS Writing Task 1 and Task 2 Online
Hundreds of algorithms will assess your writing according to 4 evaluation criteria. Writing9 helps you find the weak points of your essay and make it flawless.