Doctor, nurses and teacher make a great contribution to society and should be played more than entertainment and sport celebrity. Do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People have a different
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
on whether
doctors
Use synonyms
,
nurses
Use synonyms
and
teachers
Use synonyms
should earn more than entertainment and sports
celebrity
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
show examples
. despite the fact that
doctors
Use synonyms
,
nurses
Use synonyms
and
teachers
Use synonyms
can be considered an essential part of every
country
Use synonyms
, I firmly believe that those entertainment and sports stars deserve a high salary.  On the one hand, there is no argument that
doctors
Use synonyms
and
nurses
Use synonyms
work hard than they should be .
For example
Linking Words
, In my
country
Use synonyms
, their workload is up to 50-60 hours per week which is a huge amount of working hours.
In addition
Linking Words
, the duties of
teachers
Use synonyms
are
also
Linking Words
really important, since they contribute knowledge to people who would be the future of a
country
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they deserve a minimum wage rose.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are three major reasons why I believe that
celebrity
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
show examples
and stars should earn a lot.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different part of contributions, to be
this
Linking Words
famous is not an easy job. To illustrate, Messi a football player star once said that he spends time practising around 7-8 hours a day while teenagers of the same age can play.
Besides
Linking Words
, privacy is one thing that they get paid for it as there are paparazzi everywhere, even sometimes
harass
Wrong verb form
harassing
show examples
them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a superstar is popular,
thus
Linking Words
people in the business can make money from them that
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
to why they deserve a lot of money In conclusion, being
teachers
Use synonyms
,
doctors
Use synonyms
and
nurses
Use synonyms
is
extreme
Add an article
an extreme
the extreme
show examples
contribution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
country
Use synonyms
thus
Linking Words
they should
paid
Change the verb form
pay
be paid
show examples
more.
Submitted by npintho on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: