Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work. Why do you think it is happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?
Nowadays, moving to better education for many
another
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
countries
is more trendy, some people
move for professional while
some go for education. A better life should be a major reason for them. This
viewpoint offers both benefits and drawbacks which will be described in the following paragraphs before the conclusion is reached.
On the one
hand, one
of the advantages of moving from their home country is that it isCorrect article usage
a
people
who want to reside in a developed country. To illustrate, with higher education, especially in English speaking
Add a hyphen
English-speaking
countries
, they would get a high salary. As a result
, many people
tend to go aboard
. Rephrase
abroad
Moreover
, they transfer to some developed countries
such
as the US, Canada, Australia or New Zealand where there are a number of supporting systems for their citizens as well as
freedom.
On the other hand
, the obvious drawback of living in other countries
is that there are various different cultures. In some cases, this
can cause a problem because each culture has a unique way and it can lead to misunderstanding. Another problem is that language, which is an important factor for people
to live there. One
example, if you can not speak fluently in the language, it is unlikely that you can find a proper job. It is undeniable that people
who live aboard
are likely to Rephrase
abroad
have
homesick, Verb problem
be
they
might miss family. Even though, they can do Correct word choice
and they
a
video calling Correct article usage
apply
but
not things like meeting in person. Correct word choice
apply
This
could be one
of the cons.
to summarize, it is true to say that living aboard
may offer a better chance to live a better life but there are some drawbacks that have to Rephrase
abroad
consider
.Wrong verb form
be considered
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task achievement
To improve the task response, make sure to fully develop each point with specific examples and elaborate more on the reasons and impacts of people moving to different countries.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are well-connected and that transitions between ideas are smooth. You can use cohesive devices for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Double-check for grammatical errors and awkward phrases. This will improve the overall clarity and precision of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, effectively framing the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the reasons why people move and the advantages and disadvantages, showing an understanding of the prompt.
task achievement
Good use of examples like higher education and supportive systems in developed countries to illustrate points, although they could be expanded further.
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