IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that countries should produce food for the whole population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #food #population #import
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It is generally believed by certain individuals that
food
Use synonyms
 should be produced by
countries
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 for all public while they import at least
food
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. Regarding
this
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, I strongly agree with
this
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 assertion, On the one hand, in some nations
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 do not need to
concern
Add a missing verb
be concern
show examples
 about
food
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, financial stability is an important factor to these
countries
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 as they can allocate state funds for various industries
such
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 as education and public transportation.
Therefore
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,
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
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 should be sent to other industries
such
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 as factories and companies rather than agricultural and fishing industries in order to make more money that can be used
public
Change preposition
for public
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 services.
Moreover
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, sometimes, importing
food
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 is much cheaper than producing
food
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. the public cannot be satisfied by local
food
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 as they want
the
Correct article usage
a
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 variety of
food
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. What
is
Change the verb form
are
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 more some ingredients require special soil, weather, and temperature
.
Change the punctuation
?
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For example
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,
although
Linking Words
 a significant number of Koreans like mangoes, growing mango trees
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 an excessive amount of money in order to make
green houses
Correct your spelling
greenhouses
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 and hire
specialties
Change the spelling
specialities
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. As the example clearly illustrates, importing
food
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 is an efficient means of making citizens
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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satisfied.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the government of
countries
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 has a duty to help the population achieve basic needs
such
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 as
food
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. Citizens cannot be satisfied Before the government solve the problem of a lack of
food
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 because they are not able to gain a sense of
secure
Replace the word
security
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 when they suffer from the scarcity of
food
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.
Therefore
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, producing enough
food
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 for whole citizens can be a stepping stone to
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 the standard of living.
In addition
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, producing local
food
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 can decrease an environmental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 since it reduces the consumption of fossil fuels that release
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
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green-house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
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 gases. When
countries
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 import
food
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, aircraft and ships that need fossil fuels are used, thereby leading to global warming.
For instance
Linking Words
, recent media in Korea reports that
food
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 mileage increased by 30% from 2001 to 2010.
In other words
Linking Words
, carbon footprint
also
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 rose.
Hence
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,
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
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 the amount of importing
food
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 as much as they can is crucial for the environment. In conclusion, while I accept that importing
food
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 rather than producing local
food
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 can sometimes be useful, there is no doubt that producing
food
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 can solve a lack of
food
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.
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Additionally
Add a comma
,Additionally
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 it is one of the ways to prevent global warming.
As a result
Linking Words
,
countries
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 should produce
food
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 and less import
food
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 for future generations.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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