at the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults,compared with the number of older people. do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, the population of some countries contains much more young
adults
than older people.
This
means that most organizations are run by young
individuals
. Do the positives of
this
situation outweigh its drawbacks? In
this
essay, I am going to analyze the major points and try to draw some conclusions. Let’s start with the advantages. Generally speaking, young
adults
are more active
individuals
with higher performance during
work
hours. Mostly, people are more ambitious during their earlier ages and they are planning to build a comfortable future for themselves and
also
their family.
Secondly
, as technology is developing at a great pace, younger
individuals
may be much more open-minded to learning how new technologies
work
. Appropriately using new technology, has improved the organizations in the majority of cases. Looking at the other side of the argument, young
adults
have less experience than older people. Younger
individuals
may take the wrong action in facing a critical problem
due to
a lack of experience.
This
could have a permanent effect on their
work
life. Another issue is that young ages have lower budgets to expand their career.
This
may influence their courage to be an entrepreneur and they turn to choose a safe 9 to 5 job with a stable income and having insurance. All things considered, some countries are facing with increasing number of young
adults
in their whole population. There are pros of active
work
units and suitable technology use against the cons of lack of experience and budget. In my opinion, the positives outweigh the negatives as most countries are planning to increase their young
adults
Change the noun form
adult
show examples
population. Young ones are much more suitable to build a country’s future.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has one main idea and is clearly linked to the overall argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or data to support your points, which can strengthen your argument.
general
Avoid minor grammatical errors and improve sentence variety for a more polished essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the ideas are logically presented.
task achievement
The response fully addresses the task and provides a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of the issue.
general
The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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