The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The advancement in modern technology made our life easy. It is said that the
of individuals is at risk
Remove the comma

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

show examples
and predicted to continue to reduce
in contrast
with the present. I completely agree with
fact, as we are depending more on technology and our eating habits are changed in the recent decade.
, with the introduction of fast foods and carbonated drinks, our practice of eating healthy homemade
noted a significant change. We, in the past, eat most of the
which are cooked with proper care and suitable for our body,
, fast
stores are replacing our pattern with unhygienic
which is detrimental to our
. To illustrate, people, particularly those who live in city areas prefer the take out
option rather than cooking
at home, as they do not have that much the time.
, the companies, which market themself as making our life easy, are actually making us lazy. With absolute dependency on machines, we have forgotten our workout, which provides aid to stay fit and healthy.
for example
- the activity of cleaning the house is now done by the robots, which was one type of workout happening in the past.
, replacements to automation are affecting our
. On the one hand, technology is considered to be the most useful tool to make our life utterly simple,
, I consider, the shift is not good for our
, with an increase in depression because of the work, our mental
considering getting lower. In summary, the
of the general population will continue to decrease in the future, because of the various factors
as modernization and the replacement of healthy foods, and I believe the same.
Submitted by homegardener on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Turn your IELTS writing into band 7+
After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
The best new way to check your essay
Get 60% discount and enjoy a quick and easy way to check IELTS Writing Task 1&2!