In some countries, people encourage students to find part-time jobs while some people don't. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many

students

consider working

Correct article usage

apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples

part-time, during their education to

brush-up

Correct your spelling

brush up

The word brush-up doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples

their

Change preposition

on their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples

finances. Whilst in some places

this

is encouraged, others would argue that doing so might not be a good idea.

This

essay will

examin

Correct your spelling

examine

If you don’t want examin to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

both sides of

this

argument. Generally speaking, it

appeares

Correct your spelling

appears

appeared

If you don’t want appeares to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

that for most

students

this

may be a good option. Part-time jobs allow

students

to gain an insight into the working world. The transition from

student

life to working a full-time

job

is a big jump for some. A part-time

job

would allow a

student

to gain an understanding of the working world beforehand.

Moreover

this

can help

students

to gain a better understanding of what is expected from them in the future. Another benefit is, that

students

will

recieve

Correct your spelling

receive

If you don’t want recieve to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

a salary.

This

will help the

students

in the future

Remove the comma

apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker when. Consider removing the comma.

show examples

when they will be in charge of managing their own money. As they already have gained experience from working part-time. Part-time jobs add create extra stress for already busy

students

. University can be a very stressful time for many,

having

Correct word choice

and having

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples

addtional

Correct your spelling

additional

If you don’t want addtional to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

responsibilities may be counterproductive. In short,

students

should focus on their education, rather than working a part-time

job

. It is essential for a

student

to perform well during their education

Remove the comma

apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker since. Consider removing the comma.

show examples

since it will

determin

Correct your spelling

determine

If you don’t want determin to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

their

job

prospects in the future. In summary,

this

essay has examined the benefits and drawbacks of working a part-time

job

as a

student

. In my opinion,

this

Correct your spelling

decision

If you don’t want decsion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

decsion

Correct article usage

a decsion

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples

that everyone should make for themselves. If a

student

believes that they can manage both successfully, they should try

Correct pronoun usage

them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples

. As it can provide good insight into what they will be doing after university.

Submitted by nikolaus.a.zach on Sat May 14 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improve your writing score in 2 weeks

Just type your IELTS essay and receive a clear, detailed report and band score in a moment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Include an introduction and conclusion

Support main points with an explanation and then an example

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 4.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 4.0

Answer all parts of the question

Present and fully explain ideas

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Word Count

Become Premium

Check as many essays as you want
Analyze highlighted mistakes
Use the built-in grammar checker
Discover your weaknesses
Get suggestions to get a higher score
Browse the history of checked essays
14-day money back guarantee

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe that students should be taught international news as a subject at school. Others feel that this would be a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this contemporary era, the news is the indispensable part of life. The news gives information about day to day affairs with people. So, some people believe that to introduce news as a subject in schools plays a vital role in the future life of students, whereas others argue that it would be a waste of valuable time. I partially agree with the aforesaid statement.
5.5
band
The subjects and lesson contents are decided by the authorities such as the government. Some people argue that teachers should make the choice. What are the pros and cons of each method, give some solutions?
Recent years have witnessed a fresh generation with flourishing knowledge. While some suggest that this knowledge derives from the carefully planned curriculum set by authorities, others believe that lesson plans should be laid out by the educators. Conspicuously, this issue requires our in-depth analysis.
8
band
It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development?
As the technologies have developed, people now can easily travel to remote natural areas. Along with many advantages, there are disadvantages of this trend as well.
7
band
Many people today use their phones for sending texts more than talking. What are the reasons for this? Are there more advantages than disadvantages?
There is no denying that the smartphones have changed our mode to communicate to each other. Nowadays individuals tend to text more than making calls. Some experts say this type of communication is not appropriate because it is very manipulated. Others say is more practical and less expensive. I tend to agree to the latter. From my standpoint, this recent technology brought us a faster way to talk to others.
5
band
Communication through text messaging and other instant forms of online communication are short and basic. Some people think this will be death of grammar and spelling. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is an undeniable fact that individuals can communicate with each other easily through myriad social media applications. A group of people believes that short chattings will eliminate the grammar and spellings of a particular language. However, I totally disagree with this statement which will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs.

Checks your essay in seconds

Instantly see mistakes you've made and learn how to avoid them.

In some countries, people encourage students to find part-time jobs while some people don't. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that students should be taught international news as a subject at school. Others feel that this would be a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The subjects and lesson contents are decided by the authorities such as the government. Some people argue that teachers should make the choice. What are the pros and cons of each method, give some solutions?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Many people today use their phones for sending texts more than talking. What are the reasons for this? Are there more advantages than disadvantages?

Communication through text messaging and other instant forms of online communication are short and basic. Some people think this will be death of grammar and spelling. To what extent do you agree or disagree?