In some countries, people encourage students to find part-time jobs while some people don't. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many
students
consider working
a
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apply

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part-time, during their education to
brush-up
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brush up

The word brush-up doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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their
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on their

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finances. Whilst in some places
this
is encouraged, others would argue that doing so might not be a good idea.
This
essay will
examin
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examine

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both sides of
this
argument. Generally speaking, it
appeares
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appears
appeared

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that for most
students
this
may be a good option. Part-time jobs allow
students
to gain an insight into the working world. The transition from
student
life to working a full-time
job
is a big jump for some. A part-time
job
would allow a
student
to gain an understanding of the working world beforehand.
Moreover
,
this
can help
students
to gain a better understanding of what is expected from them in the future. Another benefit is, that
students
will
recieve
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receive

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a salary.
This
will help the
students
in the future
,
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apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker when. Consider removing the comma.

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when they will be in charge of managing their own money. As they already have gained experience from working part-time. Part-time jobs add create extra stress for already busy
students
. University can be a very stressful time for many,
having
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and having

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addtional
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additional

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responsibilities may be counterproductive. In short,
students
should focus on their education, rather than working a part-time
job
. It is essential for a
student
to perform well during their education
,
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apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker since. Consider removing the comma.

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since it will
determin
Correct your spelling
determine

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their
job
prospects in the future. In summary,
this
essay has examined the benefits and drawbacks of working a part-time
job
as a
student
. In my opinion,
this
is
Correct your spelling
decision

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decsion
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a decsion

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that everyone should make for themselves. If a
student
believes that they can manage both successfully, they should try
it
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them

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. As it can provide good insight into what they will be doing after university.
Submitted by nikolaus.a.zach on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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