The movement of people from agricultural areas to big cities has caused many problems at both places. What are the reasons of this problem and how can it be solved?
The migration of
people
who lived in agricultural Use synonyms
areas
to urban Use synonyms
cities
has raised issues in both places. Use synonyms
This
essay believes the cause of Linking Words
this
problem is linked to the work satisfaction of the Linking Words
people
in agricultural Use synonyms
areas
and Use synonyms
this
can be solved by the Linking Words
government
by equally distributing the number of big Use synonyms
companies
in both places.
The source of income of Use synonyms
people
who live in rural Use synonyms
areas
mostly comes from cultivation. Use synonyms
Although
Linking Words
people
who worked in Use synonyms
this
field contributed a lot to the food that society consumed, the salary rates did not meet the expectations of its workers. Many of them feel that how much they earned are not in line with the long hours that they sacrificed when working overtime. Linking Words
For instance
, farmers in Indonesia were paid below the minimum wage and worked the longest compared to any other jobs.
The problem above results in a high number of Linking Words
people
moving to big Use synonyms
cities
, making it too crowded for Use synonyms
people
in urban Use synonyms
cities
to do their activities. Use synonyms
This
problem can be tackled by distributing Linking Words
government
Use synonyms
companies
in big Use synonyms
cities
, Use synonyms
as well as
private Linking Words
companies
to rural Use synonyms
areas
. Use synonyms
This
way, Linking Words
people
who live in agricultural Use synonyms
areas
can have the chance to level up their work life in order to get more money with less overtime working. To illustrate, the Use synonyms
government
can make new regulations about having Use synonyms
subholding
Correct your spelling
sub-holding
sub holding
companies
located in rural towns for each company in big Use synonyms
cities
.
In conclusion, the transformation of the agricultural Use synonyms
areas
and big Use synonyms
cities
that caused problems in both places Use synonyms
due to
transmigration had raised because of the work satisfaction in rural Linking Words
areas
. The solution to Use synonyms
this
issue is distributing the number of Linking Words
companies
in urban Use synonyms
cities
by the Use synonyms
government
.Use synonyms
Submitted by ethia.oktaviani on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task and provides a clear response to the question. However, the suggestion to distribute companies to rural areas can be expanded. Consider discussing other potential solutions as well.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows well into the next. While the logical structure is mostly clear, enhancing the complexity and depth of your arguments can bolster cohesion.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the problem and sets up the essay well.
task achievement
The essay includes a logical explanation of the problem, supported by a relevant example of farmers in Indonesia.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite