IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many working people get little or no exercises either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercises #time #health #exercise
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Doing sports is a necessary activity for
workers
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 especially nowadays with the
sendetery
Correct your spelling
sedentary
 sort of our living. Today many employees continue their job without any hard activity and
practice
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 during their
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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.
This
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 trend may result in serious health issues for
workers
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. The reasons behind
this
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 trend
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
 not having enough
time
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 and a huge amount of workload.
However
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, there are remedies for
this
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 that
this
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 essay will explain all in detail. To commence with,
date
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the date
a date
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 could act as an enemy for
workers
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. Since rushed and long work hours do not let the
worker
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 find enough
time
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 to
practice
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 during the day.
This
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 may cause very hazardous health issues for the
workers
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.
Also
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,
enormous
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an enormous
the enormous
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 amount of workload and pressure can be the other causes of
this
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 tendency for less
exercising
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exercise
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. When the
workers
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 find themselves in the sort of harsh conditions they may lose their will to exercise every day. Considering the reasons below, there are some ways
for
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apply
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overcome
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overcoming
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 to
this
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 problem.
Firstly
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, managers can detect
an
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a
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 special
time
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 for their
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worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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 to exercise and be healthy. The CEO of companies could make a plan for creating some places for exercise.
Besides
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, governments could encourage the
worker
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 by advertising on the TV.
This
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practice
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 could cause
workers
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understand
Add the particle
to understand
show examples
 the importance of
this
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 practising and tend to
practice
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 more.
For instance
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, The Google company have a special place for its
worker
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 to method at a special
time
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 of the day. All in all, nowadays exercising could be useful
practice
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 for people and there are many reasons why
workers
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 should do
this
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 habit and
also
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 some solutions for
this
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.
Submitted by parafik on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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