In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #women #people #income #security #marriage

We live in a developing and contemporary world and it is worth noticing that gender segregation mitigates considerably and both

females

and males have equal opportunities in each field of society life. It has been noticed that in the 21st century,

females

no longer feel the need to get married and start a family as our ancestors in a hurry or overwhelming rush. Some individuals think that it is a consequence of

women

's ability to earn money by themselves. Personally, I oppose

this

view and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs. First and foremost, conscious and self-aware

females

decide to start a family and get married when they have actually gained a tertiary education diploma, Bachelor's and Master's degree as well.

Furthermore

, educated and clever

women

will raise highly developed children which will astonishingly influence the

overall

well-being of the country and society .

While

women

are confident in themselves and raised in a family with appropriate nurture, they would not search for a man with a financial pillow for them.

Instead

, they will be equally working in order to be a part of the family's budgetary allocation. As evidence, one of my acquaintances at the university got married afterwards of gained specialization in the medical field.

Subsequently

, she is a remarkable part of society and has her own point in life and irreplaceable place in life.

Additionally

, the priorities of

females

have been changed over the years.

Moreover

, versatile and multifaceted

females

have an enormous desire and steps toward making breakthroughs in different parts of the scientific area. To cite an example, my mother no longer got married

due to

the inspiration of work and scientific innovation that she had done. At

this

point,

women

initially

made themselves strong and determined personalities and

after

this

chose to be fiancees, lovely wives and mothers, who would pass their valuable knowledge to their children.

To sum up

, it is readily apparent that the core circumstance of changes in marriage patterns is not connected with being only financially independent from the husband.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Thu Sep 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to clarify the main points clearly in each paragraph to improve the logical flow of your argument.

task achievement

It's important to critically address opposing viewpoints to showcase a well-rounded analysis of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, providing a clear sense of the essay's direction.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples that add credibility to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

343 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not real needs of the society in which they are sold. to what extent do you agree or disagree relevant examples from your own knowledge or experienece.