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Band 4.5

Many people thought it is best to accept ugly situations such as shortage of income and pitiful jobs, while some argue that change is needed to improve the condition rather than be satisfied with such circumstances.

#people #situations #shortage #income #jobs #argue #change #condition #circumstances
Many
people
 thought it is best to accept ugly situations
such
 as shortage of income and pitiful jobs, while some argue that change is needed to improve the condition rather than be satisfied with
such
 circumstances. From my point of view, I rather improve
such
 conditions than
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 held in that state.
First
 of all, everyone needs money. There is no human being who rather live in poverty rather than a wealthy life.
For example
,
people
 with a shortage of income are willing to work multiple jobs to improve their financial status. The reason behind it is that they are willing to turn things around rather than just accept their fate.
Second
 of all,
people
 who are unsatisfied with their job need to quit. Find a suitable job that aligns with your passion.
For example
, many
people
 are willing to learn new knowledge by taking master’s or online training programs to expand their careers. Many
people
 believe by doing
this
, they can open a new path in their career so they can find a suitable job. Overall,
people
 who are willing to change are
people
 who can’t accept fate and try to break the chain that holds them, while
people
 who are satisfied with their pity condition, can accept their fate.
Submitted by miarosmia8 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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