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Band 5

Everyone deserves to be educated. It's unfair that intelligent people are not admitted to private universities because of their financial background. University education should be free for everyone. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #universities #background #university #education
It’s undeniable that school
education
 can be an extremely powerful thing in human
formation
Replace the word
form
show examples
 as a responsible and well-mannered person.There are a number of reasons that confirms that theory,
however
 in some cases
education
 can have a negative impact on children rather than on parents. On the one hand,it’s well known that parents play a quite vital role in the upbringing of their kids.
Nevertheless
, educating them alone at home does not always mean bringing them
bright
Correct article usage
a bright
show examples
 future. For
this
 reason,it’s extremely important to be given formal
education
 to the children.
This
 is why many
education
 institutions try to enhance the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of diverse lessons and seminars which transform
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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 consistently
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
.
Moreover
,there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 specialized training that
train
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trains
show examples
 your confidence in society,becoming you
as
Change preposition
apply
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an easy-going and communicative individual
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 makes friends easily and
don’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn’t
show examples
 mind having his own opinion in the community.
For instance
,in some countries there are lessons,that are related to showing students how to behave in society, they show you
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 aspects of the principal social rules.
This
 is the way I see
education
 in schools,my point of view is positive about that,but
actually
Add a comma
,actually
show examples
 there are some negative sides.
On the other hand
, upbringing in society can be supported by
Correct your spelling
bullying
show examples
bulling
Correct your spelling
bullying
show examples
, there is a crucial problem of our world that can lead
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 to be
more and more shy
Replace the words
shyer and shyer
shyer
show examples
 rather he was studying at home without saturated communications.
However
,I don’t appreciate
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 way
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 become self-absorbed, and in the
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
 it can have some implications that affect
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
 job and success in life. To sum up,having considered all
prons
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
 and cons,I support children studying in schools,it makes them stronger and
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 ready to face all troubles in that difficult life.
Submitted by bigamot01 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal access
  • socioeconomic barriers
  • financial constraints
  • subsidized education
  • public expenditure
  • academic merit
  • equitable opportunities
  • scholarship programs
  • student debt crisis
  • higher education funding
  • taxpayer burden
  • intellectual capital
  • tuition fees
  • quality assurance
  • graduate oversupply
  • means-tested support
  • vocational training
  • alternative education pathways
  • online platforms
  • lifelong learning
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