In many countries, crimes rate amongst younger people has been rising. Discuss the causes and solutions for this problem.
The
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
crime
rate
in a society can be a good index of safety. Accordingly
, numerous countries worldwide have been struggling with increasing
number of Add an article
an increasing
the increasing
crime
waves. Considerably this
issue has happened because of joblessness and internet
technology. Having identified this
reasons , Correct determiner usage
these
government
must take feasible solutions.
Add an article
the government
To begin
with, one of the main culprits for
Change preposition
of
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
rate
among adolescent
is unemployment. Due to Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
economic
crisis in Correct article usage
the economic
the
Correct article usage
apply
third
-world countries the rate
of employment has fallen, also
It is undeniable that every individual gain
Correct subject-verb agreement
gains
money
through working for living
. While jobless adolescents have financial issues, offenders would find them as good candidates to commit crimes Add an article
a living
such
as shoplifting or burglary, robbery
, and offer them tempting prices Correct word choice
or robbery
that is
why we can see a large quantity
of young Change the quantifier
number
people
who become culprits. To illustrate this
, according to a recent poll, crimes are committed mostly by younger
generation due to financial problems Correct article usage
the younger
especially
in countries with Add the comma(s)
,especially
low
Add an article
a low
the low
level
of hiring. Being responsible for solving Fix the agreement mistake
levels
this
incident, government
can dedicate Add an article
the government
money
to educate
young Wrong verb form
educating
people
how
to earn Change preposition
on how
money
by working as online freelancers since not only is it easier to earn money
but also
people
can have a vast online platform to choose between preferable well-paid jobs so that the crime
rate
stems from money
problems will decrease.
Apart from unemployment, internet
technology is another item that accounts for crime
Correct article usage
the crime
rate
. Needless to say that by
the Change preposition
with
emerge
of Replace the word
emergence
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
people
through
the world can keep in touch, but it is not always for good purposes and some crimes and the process of attracting Change preposition
throughout
of
committers happen through the Net. Change preposition
apply
Although
parents might think that letting their child to
use Change the verb form
apply
internet
would be beneficial, they are at the risk of joining offender comities. Add an article
the internet
For example
, there are some online groups trying to teach teenagers how to be a part of crime
or even Add an article
a crime
the crime
in
Change preposition
on
Dark
web teens are paid to commit illegal tasks ranging from Correct article usage
the Dark
rubbery
to Correct your spelling
robbery
kill
someone, so we can understand Wrong verb form
killing
internet
can be harmful if it is not controlled. One of the best solutions for Add an article
the internet
this
issue can be educating teenagers at school and alarm
them Wrong verb form
alarming
for
Change preposition
about
disadvantages
of Correct article usage
the disadvantages
internet
and gang online groups can have plusCorrect article usage
the internet
that
, subsequent problems that might happen Correct determiner usage
apply
for
them, so Change preposition
to
this
awareness can help them as a guide not to commit a crime
.
To conclude, there are some factors such
as unemployment and the internet
culprit for increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
of
Change preposition
in
crime
rate
needed to be solve
by educating youngsters Change the verb form
be solved
how
to earn Change preposition
on how
money
as online freelancers, and awareness about crime
groups attract youngers through internet
.Add an article
the internet
Submitted by shahlad on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
