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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people think that children should begin thir formal education at a very age old.other thinks tgey should begin after7 years of age. discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Starting Formal
education
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 is a crucial time in offspring's lives to acquire a bunch of
information
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 which is critical for them
such
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 as the alphabet.On
this
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 account
،
Add a comma
, ،
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some people believe that offspring should start their primary literacy at a very
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age-old
Correct your spelling
age old
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,whereas it is argued that their primary
education
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 should be started after 7
years
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 of
age
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.From my point of view, starting primary discipline at a very
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age old
Add a hyphen
age-old
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 has had a more fruitful effect on offspring. It is asserted that one of the main reasons why getting teaching at a very
age
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-old better in comparison with getting an improvement after 7
years
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 of
age
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 is earning money earlier than them,Needless to ,say that they have an opportunity to finish their
education
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 earlier than other
children
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 who start formal
education
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 after 7years of
age
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 through which earning capital could arise earlier because they probably could find a job sooner than them .result in,winning in the race for earning money earlier than other groups who start later.
Furthermore
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,what differentiates scion who
begin
Change the verb form
begins
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 their primary
education
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 earlier than 7
years
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 of
age
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 from
children
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 who start after 7
years
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 could be mental power which is stronger than the other group,
this
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 is because, since
children
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 begin their formal
education
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 earlier than 7
years
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 of
age
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,their minds can involve with
information
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 which is vital for them sooner leading them to have mental power stronger.
For instance
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, research has shown that provided
children
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 start their formal
education
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 between 4 and 5
years
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 old,their brain will be able to improve itself sooner by involving with that
information
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 to acquire them than heir who
begins
Correct subject-verb agreement
begin
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 after 7
years
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 of
age
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 have been able to have a stronger mind than the other group who start later ;
therefore
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, the decision at their disposal if they have a tendency to have a stronger mind or not.
On the other hand
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,what pursuing formal
education
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 after 7
years
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 of
age
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 could lead to is realizing comprehensive
education
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 provided by school completely,
In other words
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, these
children
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 may able to realize a plethora of
information
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 provided by their teacher who is inclined to instil his
information
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 to them better than
children
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 who start it sooner because of their
age
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 which can affect in their acquiring .
for instance
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, according to the recent research project it emerged that some
children
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 who have 8 or 9
years
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 old could acquire
information
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 provided by school better than other groups because the brain grows completely between 7and 9
years
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 old;
therefore
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,
age
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 exerts influence on their acquiring and
children
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 who have these ages can acquire better. In conclusion,
although
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 most
children
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 who get formal
education
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 after 7
years
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 of
age
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 can acquire a plethora of
information
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 better than the other group because of their
age
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 , my personal idea is that it has more beneficial effects on
children
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 because of earning money sooner and having a stronger mind compared with other groups .

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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