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Some people believe that the only purpose of a zoo is entertainment. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #purpose #zoo #entertainment
The zoological garden is the replacement place for the profit conservation zone in terms of making mutual advantages from the business and the authority.
Besides
, all animal activities tend to attract the community who want to side-seeing. In
this
 essay, I argue that it is more beneficial than entertainment itself. Presumably, people frequently see animal recreation as only part of the public attraction for families and kids. The wildlife park,
on the other hand
, comes from the deal transaction between the organization and the government in order to make the amount of money to help animal rehabilitation. Society assumes that it is an example of symbiosis mutualism. One of the other reasons, it happens that some exotic mammals like Elephants, Lions, Panthers, and Cheetah should grow with process in the incubation in the safest place as their populations have increasingly declined over the past years.
Additionally
, the zoo has only one way to keep the process happening. Another example, is workers in the terratium have been training in the specific program. Especially, they are professionals in taking care of certain animals.
As a result
, the animal has a great environment and their life of expansion could be longer than expected. Taking care of animals spends massively funds which can cause crisis for some counterparts, as we can see, the participant in the zoo's company creates something sensational for people who want to get pieces of information and attraction at the same time by only purchasing the entry gate admission.
To conclude
, I believe that the animal collection area seems not only to have fun with animals to entertain people but it is
also
 for a better eco-system for the animal's behaviour and growth.
Submitted by wulandarianggieta on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. While you've presented an interesting perspective, clarifying your stance (agree or disagree) at the beginning would strengthen your task response.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with more specific examples and evidence. Your essay mentions several interesting ideas but would benefit from clearer, more detailed examples to support your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each focused on a single main idea. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, followed by supporting details.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make effective use of linking words to guide the reader through your arguments. While your essay shows some coherence, more explicit transitions between ideas and paragraphs could enhance readability and flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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